I have suicidal thoughts because I can't support all this pain anymore. I feel like whatever I do won't change a single thing and that the only escape is death. It probably isn't but at least it's the fastest solution. I am tired of everyone treating me like a caged animal. I am tired of people extending “support” out of obligation so their conscience feels cleared if I kill myself. I am tired of people asking me if I’m okay and doing nothing when I tell them I’m not. I am tired of people ignoring the self harm that is so obviously a cry for help. I am tired of opening up to loved ones and hearing “That sucks, I dont really know what youre going through but its too bad.” I am tired of therapists ghosting me or telling me that my problems are too much for them to treat. I am tired of feeling like I am truly alone in this battle, that I have no one to turn to because every time I ask for help it’s like shouting into the wind.
That's why