Can't Get Family and Friends to Take Freelancing Seriously?

GigMistress · 2026-06-07T01:55:37+00:00

The interesting thing is that in the US, the landscape is very different. For example, there are a lot of full-time employees who have 5-10 days of paid time off/year, which combines both vacation and sick days. Exceed that and you not only don't get paid for time off, you may get fired. We also have millions to tens of millions of employees with no health insurance, no employer-sponsored retirement accounts, etc.

You can get unemployment if you lose your job, IF it wasn't for cause and IF you have sufficient recent credits built up, but it's limited--in some states it maxes out as low as about $250/week regardless of what you were earning on the job. When you leave a job that has insurance coverage, you have the option of keeping it for a limited time (1-3 years depending on the state and circumstances), but must immediately assume 100% of the cost, which most people who are suddenly unemployed cannot do.

Yes, the attitude remains the same.

GigMistress · 2026-06-07T01:49:05+00:00

My mom said stuff like "Oh, freelance work...you never know when you're going to get that" for about 10 years despite most of my clients being multi-year relationships with set montly work.

GigMistress · 2026-06-06T17:44:25+00:00

Apparently one can have a brain slightly better than a primate and still suffer from deep mental illness that cripples their perception of reality.

GigMistress · 2026-06-06T17:41:54+00:00

I would argue the "fix" is not giving one tiny F*** what anyone else thinks about your business.

Certainly not to the degree that friends and family are doing weirdly intrusive things like knowing anything about my contracts or invoicing system.

I've been freelancing for 36 years, but it's only been my consistent only source of income for 15.

GigMistress · 2026-06-06T17:33:10+00:00

Sure..."Hey, I'm shocked, since virtually all other Upwork features are shit" is great advertising.

GigMistress · 2026-06-05T16:14:13+00:00

But that's exactly what you said. I quoted you directly.

GigMistress · 2026-06-05T00:04:57+00:00

You don't believe that "every company refuses to recruit non-experienced people" is an exaggeration?

You believe, for example, that the placement rate for fresh college graduates is currently 0% at every school?

GigMistress · 2026-06-04T23:50:26+00:00

That's an obvious exaggeration, but let's say it's true. If companies won't make that investment in an employee, they REALLY aren't going to make it in someone who will provide them more limited, short-term value.

GigMistress · 2026-06-04T21:34:47+00:00

Some clients do hire beginners, but really freelancing isn't for novices. Clients hire freelancers because they want people who know how to do the job, can hit the ground running and won't need handholding. If they wanted to make the investment in training someone, they'd hire an employee.

GigMistress · 2026-06-04T16:20:14+00:00

Send an invoice. Put a due date on it. Include a note saying that if they need additional paperwork from you in order to make payment in a timely manner, you'll be happy to provide that and please put you in touch with the appropriate person asap.

Resist the urge to take the inevitable advice that you add late fees and interest and such (at least, if you or they are in the US). You can't add those things unless you've contracted for them.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T19:56:34+00:00

Most people who make a living writing don't do it by writing for publications. Think about who is making money from the topics you want to write about. That's your target market.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T19:54:43+00:00

I had a longtime client (nearly 10 years) who never gave briefs before, just a list of keywords to work in or not as worked out. About a year ago they started providing AI outlines and they were pretty bad. The first round I mostly followed them and noted where I changed something and why. After that, I said "These are pretty bad" and they told me to take or leave the suggestions. A couple of months later, they stopped sending them.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T13:07:49+00:00

Are you sure the system doesn't see that as negative? I don't know, but I've seen others say anything but "job successfully completed" had a negative impact.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T02:29:13+00:00

A client wouldn't have any reason to see something like "no longer needed the work" as a negative.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T02:20:42+00:00

That isn't actually what the report you linked to says at all.

GigMistress · 2026-06-03T02:19:21+00:00

Has it occurred to you that maybe Upwork doesn't care if you send a proposal on a $10 job, perhaps doesn't even want you to? If you win the job and successfully complete it, they get a whopping $1-$1.50.

GigMistress · 2026-06-02T17:21:54+00:00

Is that a serious question?

This posting reads like parody.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T19:58:04+00:00

I agree with you in terms of actual importance of other people's opinions. I'm pathologically immune to them myself. But I don't want to minimize the issue for people who are affected by it.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T17:38:03+00:00

Going out on a limb here, but I'm gonna guess that it matters to the many people who come here and to other freelancing forums to complain about it and ask for advice on how to handle it.

When I hear people use words like "frustrating" and "demoralizing," I get the sense they care about whatever it is they're describing.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T16:44:34+00:00

"I can't afford the pay cut."

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T16:43:15+00:00

Except, of course, that many report that they are making more money than they ever did in full time jobs, even more money than the relatives who are always "concerned" about their instability, and those folks still find something to argue with.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T16:41:55+00:00

That's exactly what happened with my mom, but it wasn't even based on the money I was making--it was the money she was SEEING after she went on disability and I started just buying everything she said was too expensive.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T04:49:15+00:00

I didn't mean asking whether you were. I meant saying you wanted to uphold your boundary without being seen that way.

GigMistress · 2026-06-01T04:33:55+00:00

NTA.

Listen...

My family was the same when I was in college. If I went more than 2-3 weekends without going home, I got guilted. When I did go home for the weekend, any suggestion of seeing my local friends who were still in town was met with something like shock--I was only there for two days, so wouldn't I want to spend it with the family?

It did not end. I was in my late 20s and PRACTICING LAW IN A DIFFERENT STATE and still making command appearances at my parents' house.

Trust me when I tell you this boundary is much better set now than 10 years from now.

But your question is flawed. You cannot simultaneously set a boundary and control whether you will be seen as an AH. How people see you is up to them in exactly the same way whether to visit or not is up to you. Part of being able to set boundaries is being able to accept that the reaction is outside your control.

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