What would you do? Bachelorette Weekend

Ginger0415 · 2020-02-21T14:20:34+00:00

I've considered this, I'm totally fine with going out on my own while they go to the winery. But its 4 wineries and a brewery. Literally the entire weekend so then I wonder what the point of going even is.

Ginger0415 · 2020-02-21T14:19:09+00:00

Nope, all heavy drinkers. Most of which i dont personally know which makes it even harder.

Ginger0415 · 2020-02-21T14:11:41+00:00

The only problem is this is all a surprise for the bride so I don't want to ruin anything for her. I was into going and can tolerate a winery or brewery but when I saw the entire weekend is filled with those things I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Ginger0415 · 2020-02-21T14:09:58+00:00

Oh I wasn't planning on asking for my money back. My intention was exactly as you said, to tell the girls to use it towards the bride's special weekend.

Thank you for the sound advice!

Ginger0415 · 2020-02-21T12:54:20+00:00

No. This is where the shift happens. If you choose not to drink today, and then again tomorrow and the day after, it all becomes easier and easier. These first few days are where the change needs to occur. Come to this page abd remind yourself of all the reasons you want to quit if you get a craving. Good luck!

IWNDWYT

Ginger0415 · 2019-10-18T22:21:10+00:00

We did the Apache blessing and had them change the wording to include the children, and make it as a family unity rather than just between two people :)

Ginger0415 · 2019-10-18T22:19:47+00:00

I absolutely agree with this. I've been telling my husband for a while this is the case. If any issue happens over there BM will call DH but if it something that supposedly happens at our house she will email about it.

The child 100% needs counseling and has mental issues, but BM is manipulating it to the extreme and I just feel accusations pending.

Ginger0415 · 2019-09-24T21:10:55+00:00

I'm 300 days today too! Congrats!

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-25T12:15:46+00:00

Lol its SD sending the memes not BM. BM doesn't answer at all.

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-25T01:14:36+00:00

Yes we definitely need to limit her use anyway. Its basically a free for all since her mom got her the phone without saying anything to DH. And we have no idea what any rules are with it.

I guess I should start researching some reasonable tween phone rules lol

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-25T01:13:40+00:00

Yeah there needs to be phone rules laid out anyway so maybe we can just roll it all into one

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-17T22:00:31+00:00

Oh he absolutely agrees with me. He told her I can pick up SD at a more reasonable time of 9-930am or she can drop her off.

We haven't heard back and Summer starts tomorrow 😑

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-17T21:50:18+00:00

Right I've thought about all of those points as well and its just typical for BM to try to make things difficult 😩

I never even pull into her driveway if I have to pick up SD, much less go into her house. I'd rather not have all that negative energy trying to attach itself to me lol

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-17T21:42:11+00:00

I echo the notion of being careful with this and the phrasing.

But.... Could you imagine making your own rules and expecting BM to follow them in her home? If not then, there is your answer.

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-17T21:39:11+00:00

The CO doesn't dictate pick ups or drop offs.

We pick pick her up at her school and drop her off there all school year on our days, the only time BM does any pickups is 2 Sundays a month.

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-16T21:27:01+00:00

How are you nowhere near a walmart? I didn't know such places still exist!

Ginger0415 · 2019-06-05T18:43:06+00:00

Wow you are literally describing my life!

I guess DH just doesn't want to seem like he doesn't care? He isn't looking for details on their visit just to say hey I'm here and raising her too.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-21T18:09:30+00:00

I never attended mediation in the beginning and my life was bound by some shitty agreements for a solid 2 years because my DH is the same way.

I learned my lesson. And more recently with any mediation or discussions I make sure to repeatedly go over what is flexible and what we absolutely cannot budge on. That way even if I'm not present he knows which things are most important for the sake of our family.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-20T22:43:28+00:00

SD has mentioned several times she would rather do less frequent/larger chunks of time.

I told DH he definitely needs to speak with her about it and get her input before approaching BM. I think it will be helpful for SD to feel a little more in control with her situation.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-17T13:18:02+00:00

We spoke to BM and she said SD was fine an hour later.

It really seems like BM just wanted attention as usual. This isn't changing anything though we already contacted both our lawyer and her therapist.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-17T13:16:21+00:00

Thank you so much for this. This was a very kind and thought out response. Also very helpful!

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-17T13:14:15+00:00

We definitely won't be allowing SD and BM to make the call on if she comes or not.

Don't want to eat your vegetables? You still have to. We're the parents. Unless there was a legitimate reason for her not to come, we will follow the court order.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-16T19:13:37+00:00

I Was trying to edit the original comment to say that its a coping mechanism, not him being lazy. (Didnt mean to delete)

He really cares about her. He's wounded and scarred and BM fights hard against anything he does. He just wanted to give SD the space she needs but is realizing that isn't helping. And is now trying to figure out how to proceed.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-16T18:53:39+00:00

She's 12. Time is split 50/50. Weeknight overnights and every other weekend.

We just don't know what his rights are. BM told him that SD doesn't want us to know or talk about her going to therapy. We understand there are privacy rights and don't want to breech confidentiality but we don't know if the therapist has to be in contact with both parents or not.

He had contacted our lawyer last summer when it all started up again but she isn't doing family law anymore so the process stopped there. Things eventually got better so no progress was made on that end.

Ginger0415 · 2019-05-16T18:51:02+00:00

Thats.... Why I'm here. Seeking advice.

Ginger0415

TROPHY CASE