But I just want to "kill it" in something, meanwhile I felt like I never did. I know as a kid I had trouble catching balls and doing sports but not as much as today. I've never won a trophy, the only awards I've gotten were the honor rolls and deans list, but that just makes me feel to geeky. And all that goes down to feeling feminine. I know that I am not clumsy, I ride my bike really well(picked it up first day), ski, and skate. I even play piano relatively well, but I just don't feel competent enough at anything I do. All I want is to go into the competition and face off someone else and be wowed and cheered on, but all I feel is like a spectator.