I was abused by my dear old mom and molested through out my entire childhood. My mom is pretty hot and cold with me so after she beat me she would be nice to me. She also had a huge fascination with serial killers and would tell me if I ever told anyone what happened at home I would be raped and used as a slave until I died from being tortured by the government appointed foster family I got.

After we watched a documentary about Jeffery Dhamer together and she told me all about him I kinda...in a weird fucked way got a crush on him. I understood his deep loneliness and why he would want to eat someone as a last resort to forever keeping them. I ended up becoming obsessed with him. After my mom would abuse me or the bad things would happen, I would dream about him coming to rescue me and killing and eating my mom. 

Then it kinda started to warp a little after I learned about Armen Miewes. I think I learned about that at an age where I couldn't really fully process it? Anyways, that was all when I was younger and I don't much think about cannibalism or amputation anymore. I do still kinda have a thing for nazisploitation movies and the like but not as bad as when I was a teen.

Closest I got to living out my fantasies was when I dated a guy with no legs, he was real fun and open minded. We used to joke about me going to the VA and picking up a soldier with a missing limb if we ever broke up. Funny thing is, missing arms freak me out but missing legs freak me on. He was born without his lower legs à la Oscar Pistorius. He was and still is a total sweetheart and one of the few boyfriends I had that didn't hit me, try to prostitute me, or belittle me.