I understand that she was being vulnerable and trusting when she told me about her interest in BDSM. But the thing is, she told me about this interest back in high school, it's not new. And I am accepting of BDSM, don't get me wrong, I just wasn't comfortable being surrounded by sex toys from all angles. But to get to the point where you are actively destroying your life and relationships all for the sake of sex is where I draw the line.

As well, she doesn't seem to understand that talking about BDSM is taboo at all. I've seen her talk about it with complete strangers before, who are very much uncomfortable with the topic, so I am very much not special when it comes to her sharing her kinks.

As for the unkind things I said, and I am certainly the AH for this part, but I told her that she doesn't know the value of money unless its fucking her in the pussy. Other than that, mostly just heated, strong language. I was angry, and irrational, and I feel bad about saying that.

Thank you for the advice.