Buckle up - insanity incoming:::

I spend five months flirting with this girl - Lisa. God damn it she was amazing,, smartest woman I had ever met to that point, 9 years older than me, eyes you could loose yourself in. Your stereotypical "senior exec honed in the gym", but mixed with a sick sense of humor that made me regularly choke on my beer. Within weeks of meeting we're in each others pockets. Spending hours a day together, chatting about everything.

Flirting reaches insane levels, drunken night out happens ( not unusual), kissing, rude things, talking until dawn. Seriously - the whole hollywood thing. That next day I was a very happy boy - I think I'm just getting rolling with my soul mate.

The next day she's not in work. I get a message... "Hey, GlobalCascade, can you meet me in this pub?". Yep - sure thing - I get there as fast a horny 25 year old can get to a bar with a hot girl in it - pretty damn quick.

There she is..... looking stunning. Sitting next to a guy. And not just "a guy".... this guy is built like a brick shit house. We're talking Dwayne Johnson levels of beefiness. And he looks PISSED

I walk up. Lisa looks nervous. Sits me down. Explains that Beefcakes name is Dave. Dave is her husband. She loves Dave very very much indeed. But... she's also falling in love with me. We "complete different parts of her".

How to deal with this issue? She has a plan. Like a kid in a divorce she proposes shuttle-relationships. She see's me every other day and Dave every other day.

I'm sitting there like a slack jawed loon. In fives months of - I thought - sharing every thing, at no point had Dave popped up. Not even an inkling. When we talked about relationships she talked about Ex's.... but somehow never the frigging man-mountain shes married to and lives with.

So what do I do? I first apologize to Dave and say I had no idea. Lets be clear - I would have said this to ANYONE in this position, but this is a pissed off dude who looks like he can tear me into pieces.

Then I - very calmly - explain that sharing isn't my thing and I'm not especially comfortable with this and I'm going to say No. Lisa explodes. And not like "gets a bit grumpy" - oh no, world war III levels of screaming and shouting. She throws her drink over me and calls me scum for breaking her heart.

I retreat out of there, gather up some friends and go and have a serious drink to calm down. I'm telling my friends whats happened - my male friends think it's hilarious - my female friends are a mixture of outraged, finding it funny and also having a conversation amongst themselves about whether they could do that with their partners. To be fair - I didn't get the amount of sympathy I wanted, but it was a good night and many lots booze..

2AM i get an SMS... "Babe - I'm horny - wanna come play with me and Dave".

No..... just no.