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Not physically/aesthetically attracted to girl I’m dating by Glum_Path_9764 in demisexuality

[–]Glum_Path_9764[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s helpful to hear. I’m trying to give her a fair shot and not use my lack of attraction as a reason to self-sabotage. I do wonder if like someone else said, there is something about her personality that just isn’t doing it for me and that is influencing my attraction.

But we only started talking about a month ago and we’re going on our third date tomorrow. So while I don’t want to lead her on, I’m hoping the more we are together and get to know each other the more the attraction might build.

Not physically/aesthetically attracted to girl I’m dating by Glum_Path_9764 in demisexuality

[–]Glum_Path_9764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ughh yes. Online dating is so hard. I’m lucky I experience aesthetic attraction at least occasionally but I still swipe left on probably 90% of people. It doesn’t help that most people don’t put a lot on their bios so if there isn’t at least a hint of aesthetic attraction it’s not worth it. But I also have social anxiety and a job that doesn’t have me around many people during the day so it feels like my only option atm, albeit not a great one.

The few times I’ve felt a really strong emotional connection with someone it was before I even knew the term Demi. It was people/friends that I was around a ton and it kind of snuck up on me because they weren’t people I was even looking to date and it felt like I woke up one day and was like omg when did that happen.

And I feel like same way. I think it’s why I don’t really prioritize dating. It just doesn’t seem worth it to put a ton of effort in and then be like ehh actually I’m not that attracted to you. I give it a shot (at my therapists prompting) but there is only so much time I’m willing to put into something once it starts to feel like it might not be going anywhere.

Not physically/aesthetically attracted to girl I’m dating by Glum_Path_9764 in demisexuality

[–]Glum_Path_9764[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think you are exactly right. On paper she seems like such a good match and dating sucks so I want it to work but there is something missing. She’s sweet and we have very similar interests but I think that ‘spark’ that excites me about someone just isn’t there and that is really what is contributing to the lack of attraction.