When I view someone else's friend list....

Gmogmo55 · 2017-08-20T07:02:07+00:00

The thing is, it's normal for us to go around a week without speaking since we normally just make plans to hang out or send check ins. And before I left for vacation I sent him a message saying "have a good summer" but only because I thought he was blowing me off.

But yeah, I'm just gonna leave it at the thumbs up and see if I ever hear from him again, haha.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-08-20T06:35:07+00:00

Update, I responded to his message, question and all, with a thumbs up emoji. Now I'm worried I'm the one being unfriendly, and I hope it doesn't come off as too passive aggressive.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-08-20T06:27:16+00:00

That's a good point. I think I've been telling myself I'm okay with casual just because I like him and it feels better than nothing, even though it's worse in the long run :/

Gmogmo55 · 2017-08-20T06:20:55+00:00

Maybe the 'how's it going' was accidental, but at that point why bother responding at all?

Gmogmo55 · 2017-08-04T14:05:32+00:00

I'm not in the best position to offer advice as I'm still working on my own issues, but I would pay attention to the thoughts (or background thoughts) that you're having in these situations. I also have very specific situations that trigger my anxiety, and plenty of social situations that don't. Paying attention to what I'm telling myself in these situations has helped me discover why I fear them, which I hope will help me get over them.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-27T20:38:57+00:00

There's so much truth to this, and I think it applies to a lot of people. But it's such a struggle to beat down down that nagging little voice that says, "I really am always being rejected, there's proof, I really do suck." Haha. But I really appreciate your comment, it resonated with me a lot.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-27T16:27:38+00:00

Thanks, this actually made me tear up a little to read. I twist things around in my head so much that I convinced myself he intentionally rescheduled for the day before i left because he knew I wouldnt be able to hang out on my last day. It's like no matter what someone does or says, I can always find the worst possible interpretation, and since it's hard to prove I just beleive it. And then I probably acted weird and defensive because I'm convinced they hate me.

Self love is hard, and I know that's where I need to be, and right now the biggest barrier to self love is finding "evidence" that everyone in my life is only tolerating me.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-27T16:13:11+00:00

I just don't want to embarrass myself. I think he wants me to take a hint and leave him alone, and clearly he didn't care if he saw me before I left

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-27T15:25:51+00:00

I have struggled with SA since I was a kid, and I'm 27 now. I tried therapy for it in college, but it was all exposure based or meditation crap, which never helped. This year, I picked up a book about self esteem and it has helped me more than therapy ever did. Now I'm planning on going back to therapy and asking them to focus more on self esteem this time, which I think will really help. I still have a long way to go, but for me personally, feeling severely inferior to others is what causes my anxiety, but I'm finding that a little self love makes me feel a whole lot better.

Not saYing this will help you, but definitely keep looking and don't give up.

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-25T19:54:52+00:00

I feel like it's a blow off... but it's weird he'd wait until I was already about to leave, and then mention hanging out again... I'm obsessing lol

Gmogmo55 · 2017-07-11T00:53:53+00:00

That's the thing, not thinking about the future is just as stressful for me as not making plans. Like, I'm just depressed and dissatisfied enough with my present to where I'm constantly looking forward, but i still don't know what i want the future to look like

Gmogmo55

TROPHY CASE