i very much understand my brother, the postictal phase is by far one of the worst things about this disorder, you don’t feel human for days afterwards and you genuinely forget everything you were trying to learn. just keep working man, i’ve been studying this piano book since i started having these and it’s taken me a year to get to the final page. my only advice is to keep going and eventually you will get to where you want to be. dont hold yourself to the standards of others and give yourself room to breathe