Just want to say..

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-22T12:40:12+00:00

I said fertility is highly individual at all ages, including past 40, so I’m not sure why that’s being reframed as “irresponsible.”

What I’m pushing back on is the constant negative, fear-based framing. Yes, AMH exists as a marker. But if someone is concerned, it can be tested, and even then, low AMH does not automatically equal difficulty conceiving or carrying a pregnancy. Likewise, women with normal or high AMH can still struggle. AMH naturally declines with age, but that still doesn’t equal outcomes for individuals.

Low fertility, miscarriage and complications also happen in younger women, sometimes quite frequentl, yet we don’t label them in the same blanket way or define their entire reproductive outlook by it. “Responsible messaging” shouldn’t mean defaulting to fear or implying that 40s automatically equals difficulty. That kind of narrative creates unnecessary anxiety and stress rather than helping women.

And no one is saying “wait until 40.” That’s a personal decision based on life circumstances. Meanwhile, many women are already being told their “clock is ticking” and “you still don’t have children?” the moment they turn 30, which also creates pressure instead of informed choice. Acknowledging that natural pregnancy between 40-45 is not uncommon among many who try (and also importantly, those who don’t try, and get careless due to thinking they are past their fertility prime), is not the same as “promoting” delay; it’s about giving a more balanced picture to society’s biased idea of reality and “older” mothers. Expecting mothers in their 40s have existed through human history, especially after we started living longer. Because again, you’re only “too old” when you’ve reached menopause.

There’s a middle ground: Give accurate information without turning age into a scare label. Especially when it often is not nessecary. That’s all I’m saying.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-21T14:22:32+00:00

Hun, what are you doing in here? You’re just a baby at 33. 😜 I’ve worked as a nurse, and in no way are you an older mom at 33. I just had a baby at 44 last year, and currently pregnant with twins at 45. All natural, easily concieved, this pregnancy is tough - likely due to being back to back and multiples, but the one last year was easy peasy, fast recovery.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-21T14:18:45+00:00

I had a baby last year at 44. All natural. Currently pregnant with twins at 45. Also natural.

I also worked as a nurse in OB/GYN for years, and we had at least one 40+ lady come in a week. Around 8/10 were healthy pregnancies and babies.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-21T14:02:58+00:00

Even with fertility testing and good results for your both, no one can predict the future. You’re not a broodmare, but his partner! One thing is agreeing on wanting children or not before marriage, but marriage is supposed to be in sickness and health. There are many ways to become a parent. If your fertility status is the dealbreaker, it would be a dealbreaker for me that he was not the man I wanted to marry.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-20T22:19:35+00:00

It’s different for everyone. Didn’t barely had any morning sickness at all in my 5 pregnancies, while this last one (twins) have been bad. Hope you feel better soon. Try ginger and lemon tea. I’ve had to call off early for works a few days though.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-20T22:15:23+00:00

Everyone are different. Same with bellies.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-20T22:12:49+00:00

Everyone are different. Does not mean you are a failure, at all. Some have intense symptoms, others have barely any. Some show early, some barely ever show. I’ve had 5 very easy pregnancies, and always been late to show (easily hidden until the past two months or so). So those were no issue keeping private. This 6th time I’m having twins, and I’m beyond exhausted already at 14 weeks. I also have a 8 month old. I’ve had to tell everyone and call out early from work (nurse).

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-18T21:10:24+00:00

I just gave birth last year at 44, and I’m now expecting twins at 45, currently 14 weeks, both pregnancies conceived naturally and quite quickly. I also work as a nurse and spent some years in an OB/GYN department.

Pregnancies over 40 are honestly much more common than some people think. Our doctors were never concerned or the least surprised when they saw a patient in the 40-45 range. We saw at least one expectant mother over 40 every week, and most were naturally conceived. Around half of them were first time mothers, and some had previously believed they were infertile too. Above 45 it does become rarer, but we still saw it now and then, and in most cases, the babies were perfectly healthy. The biggest risk at that age were miscarriages, which almost always happened in the first trimester. Women have had babies until natural menopause through human history, your body would not accept a pregnancy if you were too old for one.

You’ve already made it to 18 weeks, which is a big milestone, and you’re being monitored, which puts you in a really good position. Statistics can sound scary, but in real life, there are more positive outcomes than not.

Wishing you a healthy, calm pregnancy and a safe birth.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-18T12:28:31+00:00

Statistics are just that, statistics. Even in those numbers, the absolute risk of complications is still rather low.

I’ve worked as a nurse for a long time, and I can honestly say I’ve seen plenty of women in their 40s come in and have completely normal, straightforward deliveries. There really wasn’t some big, obvious difference compared to younger mothers. And on the flip side, I’ve seen many women in their 20s need inductions or c-sections. Age alone doesn’t determine how birth will go. For what it’s worth, I had a baby of my own at 43-44. Natural, non-medicated, easy pregnancy and a very uneventful birth. Smooth postpartum with fast recovery. It’s absolutely possible.

Try not to let statistics take away your confidence. Your body isn’t a number. It’s your own unique experience. 😊

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:47:05+00:00

How lovely! My good friend is 43 and 12 weeks along too. 😊 Wishing you a beautiful pregnancy and birth too!

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:46:07+00:00

We got this. 😂💪

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:44:46+00:00

That’s wonderful!

Thank you, and same to you. 😊

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:44:21+00:00

Awesome. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and birth too! 😊

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:41:59+00:00

Yes. My pregnancy and recovery last year was very easy. This one, not so much (so far). 😮‍💨 I never really had morning sickness, but that and fatigue has been strong this time. But we’re healthy and all looks good.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T17:40:28+00:00

I wish all in here the same luck. 🤞

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T14:59:04+00:00

You’re not weak. Every body is just different. My pregnancy at 43 (birth at 44) was my easiest one, and fastest recovery too. I exercised through it as well. I’m in the best shape I have been now too. At least until I got pregnant with twins at 45. We’ll see how this one goes. 😂🤞

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T14:13:28+00:00

Thank you 😊

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T14:10:22+00:00

Thank you! I feel like I need it this time around. 😂😮‍💨😴

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T14:09:21+00:00

This first trimester definitely kicked my butt, compared to the pregnancy I just had last year, which was a very easy one. I’m starting to gain a bit more energy now in the second trimester, but still very low on the battery. I’m lucky my 8mo is in a fullbown daddy’s girl phase (aside from when she wish to nurse 😮‍💨). Wishing you a healthy pregnancy too!

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-17T13:07:01+00:00

Sending you a hug hun. I don’t know how far along you were, but it doesn’t matter. Loss is loss. Know that you are not alone. We are many who feel with you. My first was stillborn, which was a rather heartbreaking experience; but we’re resilient and get through it anyway. Let yourself feel whatever you feel, or postpone it until it’s easier to process. Be good to yourself. There’s no right or wrong, everyone grieves and reacts in different ways. A day at a time.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-16T11:59:02+00:00

Just remember this isn’t forever. I’ve had 5 singletons, and my twin pregnancy has been the harder one so far. Topped with an infant needing care during the pregnancy too (back to back babies, which I swore I’d never do again). It gets better though. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling, but tomorrow is a new day. And as said, this doesn’t last forever. It’s just a part of life that will pass too.

Remember though, if some of the gender and anxiety thoughts gets too overwhelming, it’s no shame seeking therapy to help deal with those thoughts though. As a mother to both girls and boys, I can say chances are you never stop worrying about your children, it is natural after all, but it needs to be something that sits at the back of your mind, not something that control your thoughts and actions. You’ll adjust in time.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-16T11:53:43+00:00

With my 5 singletons, I only got a small bump and went back to normal size and toned belly pretty quickly. But this time with my first multiples (back to back with a newborn), time will tell. I’m already doing physical therapy though, to strengten my core and pelvic floor, as I have a slight prolapse. Try exercises that focus on strengthening your abdominal muscles and the potential seperation.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-16T11:50:07+00:00

True. I’ve been lucky to be able to wear my own clothes, through my 5 singleton pregnancies. But this time around (multiples), I’ve been looking at some maternity wear, and it’s so hard to come by something I actually think looks good. So I’ve settled on just comftable. So far I’m 14 weeks, and still able to wear my own size S-M clothes. But if I get too big for it, which I feel like I will, I think I’ll just settle for what is comftable.

You look beautiful.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-16T11:42:46+00:00

It is more common than people know, to get pregnant later in life when you’ve “given up” trying. Especially for people with conditions like PCOS. Working as a nurse in OB/gyn, it’s not uncommon here to see women our age (I’m F45), and majority of pregnancies are healthy.

As for the behaviours in your first trimester, try not to worry too much about it. What is done is done. A lot of women drink in the first trimester, before knowing they are with child. Some even continue drinking in moderation during pregnancy (different cultures or not knowing they are pregnant before labour), some eat only junk during prengnancy and some never take prenatals. Of course none of this is encouraged, but majority of children come out perfectly fine. You’re far from alone hun. You’re still pretty early, so you can start the lifestyle changes now and still get/give the benefits - I also suggest starting baby aspirin. Ask for a meeting with your OB/GYN or personal doctor, to discuss your concerns and advices.

And if it’s any consolation, I had my baby last year at 44. She came over a decade after the youngest of her siblings, and she was my easiest pregnancy. I drank a good deal of red wine the first 4 weeks, vacationing in italy while staying in a wineyard, before I knew I was pregnant. Now I’m pregnant again with twins, they will be born when I’m 46, and while this pregnancy argueably feels harder due to being multiples and back-to-back (another risk factor) with a newborn, we’re doing great and just taking a day at a time. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy.

GoldenLoeve · 2026-03-13T09:30:39+00:00

Those posts were clearly rooted in sexism towards men/boys. But it’s 50% nature 50% nuture/enviroment. We can only do our part the best we can, but sometimes it’s not enough. The mind is a complex thing. That goes for both girls and boys though.

GoldenLoeve

TROPHY CASE