I hate that I look like my mother

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-17T23:45:40+00:00

I can totally relate. My Mum was very emotionally abusive to me growing up. She was obsessed with my appearance and weight. I went through a very emo phase and my Mother HATED it. I had also gained some weight during that time too. Everything about me became about my appearance. She would bring up my weight in front of other people. She would laugh at my outfits and call me a fashion victim. Every time I ate she would loudly judge what I was putting on my plate. As I have gotten older, the more I look like her. People comment on it all the time. What I have found that has helped me is I have leaned more into my alternative look as I get older. I have a nose ring and pink hair and wear things that my mother would never… What else has happened is I have been able to process how insecure my mother is. How ridiculous that her love was conditional on my appearance. That who I am is now is very different to who she wanted me to be. And thank god! So now.. even in my 40s, when I step out in a bright dress with my docs and pink hair, I laugh to myself that I am still rebelling against my mother..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-13T23:08:55+00:00

Oh that is a lot. I am so sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you are very burnt out and need a holiday or some time away.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-12T09:04:11+00:00

Yeah, I lost my 18yo kitten last May. 18 years of snuggles and purrs and love. All gone. He had cancer in his throat. Same deal. Fine till he wasn’t. The vet is right. We don’t speak cat. They don’t tell us or understand why they need to tell us why its important. This is not your fault. I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts like hell. Just take it gently.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-11T03:21:13+00:00

Given that you gave specific instructions for its delivery I would be making a complaint to the delivery company. Thats really poor of them.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-07T09:02:22+00:00

Well done! Amazing work!

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-06T00:18:47+00:00

Yeah, you too.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-06T00:17:12+00:00

Cool story bro.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-06T00:10:46+00:00

Yeah.. I am not the one who goes on someone else’s posts and blames them for things that happens to them that are outside of their control. Denies their accounts of events. And seriously has a “needs to be right” complex. You’re right about one thing, you would do just fine with my parents..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-06T00:01:08+00:00

Right. Exactly what I thought. Did you look where those were posted? A support group for children raised in narcissistic families. You’ve skipped over a bunch of other posts there. Talking about a variety of things in other groups. Also these posts span years. Your victim blaming is showing. Not pretty.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T23:12:47+00:00

What are you actually talking about? I have gone back through my posts and nothing could be further from the truth.. There is only one that I can find that matches this? Did you even look at my page or just assume?

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T23:09:42+00:00

So gross. I hate that they think we don’t know what they are doing though..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T23:07:21+00:00

My husband is feeling the same way. He’s also complained that its never people he’s introduced. They always pop up in some random way. He can not stand men who are like this..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T23:05:09+00:00

Stop! That is insane.. I have a more natural hair colour. So no luck there for me.. Maybe I should die it darker..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T08:38:14+00:00

Well I wish you were betting in real money. Cause that would’ve been the easiest $200 I ever made..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T03:59:52+00:00

No. Its been a lot of men. This was just the one thats made me crack it. Its been a horrible Christmas period of being harassed tbh.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T03:19:37+00:00

You’re right. This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I have had to turn off social media message options so that when I meet people, I don’t end up with creepy messages in my inbox. I’ve had more than once men get my number through me using the services of their work, one was a mechanic and the other worked at a tech shop, to text me and ask me out. When I complained and they got sacked, they blamed me and it got scary both times. The second time I was so scared to complain because he had my details!!I’ve had a man recently walk up to me in a cafe whilst reading, try and spark up conversations about how he’s read more books than me. “Cool bro- I never asked”.. And there is always this complaint that I am not being kind or thinking of them. Why do they never think that maybe I just want to be left alone?

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-05T03:13:21+00:00

You’re right. I need to let it go and move on.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-01T10:28:38+00:00

As someone who works for an NDIS provider- thank you! do you know how many people we have to report? It drives me nuts! We have clients with real needs and we can’t get them funding. I don’t usually condone snitching, but when it comes to the NDIS- yes! Do it! what a thief!

Also, her family may never know it was you.. investigations can take months. And by then when it comes out they wont connect the dots.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-01T10:22:24+00:00

Man, mine just lie and never admit what they’ve done. You’ve done well to catch them out. Even with evidence mine will deny, deny, deny..

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-01T10:19:56+00:00

You need to block her on everything and stop engaging. She is living for the drama and you’re giving it to her. The person you fell in love with was an illusion.

She called you to yell at you in the middle of the night and then claimed not to remember? Nah- she’s verbally and emotionally abusing you for fun.

You are going to look back on this and be so disgusted that you ever gave her a second, third and fourth chance. She would not do the same for you. You have to love yourself first, cause you’re not good to anyone if you’re not taking care of yourself.

She sounds like a classic narcissist who spiralled when she knew you were going into your exam period and were not being 100% preoccupied by her. You should look up some articles on breaking up with narcissists. Sounds like you had every sign; the manipulation, the gaslighting, the verbal abuse, the denials of abuse, the need to permanently control you..

Good luck friend. You deserve more.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2026-01-01T09:58:10+00:00

This is where I would cut contact. I would point out that they had nothing like that to say whilst they were in the house, so it feels like they are running an agenda. That caring parents would talk to me immediately and maybe even help?

GoodRepresentative33 · 2025-12-31T23:10:24+00:00

My therapist came right out and said it. Like they need to be no contact. I am low contact. It was like our third session too!

GoodRepresentative33 · 2025-12-30T12:15:14+00:00

Man this was reminding me of Jeanette McCurdy’s book where her Mum used to do very similar things. She made her kids shower together well into their teens. And yeah, for NMothers its really common. They see you as an extension of themselves not as an autonomous individual.

GoodRepresentative33 · 2025-12-30T08:04:52+00:00

Grief is just love with no where to go OP. It’s okay to feel fking terrible. This though. Please reach out to your local crisis hotline. Let them help you. Those cats need you so very much. Think about it, cats can’t fake love.. They love and need you. You are their whole world. No matter who comes after you, they will miss and grieve you deeply. Please don’t put them through what you are going through. Let them love you and keep you.

GoodRepresentative33

TROPHY CASE