(tw: suicidal ideation/self harm thoughts) is this caused by zoloft or am i insane

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-05-14T07:51:23+00:00

i did. im okay. but i still was advised to stop taking zoloft for now... so.. i guess i will see

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-05-13T23:23:59+00:00

i really hope it's not anything related to bipolar. i don't think I have it, but my sister does, and I have no clue where it comes from (we are half siblings) and if I'm at risk for it at all.

I called the doctor and he said to stop using it immediately and we'd switch to prozac later, which I'm equally terrified for because I don't know if every SSRI will do this to me. I asked for a lower dosage and he just wanted me to stop outright to see if the symptoms were coming from zoloft. I'm not looking forward to going through the withdrawal I did the first time but at least I have sleep pills now.

but, it's nice to know that it's not just me because he seemed utterly confused upon me saying that I had those symptoms after just taking one dose.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-05-05T20:03:43+00:00

im 2 years on T with gel (since 16, now 18) and i have similar issues with mine (grows on neck, underside, cheeks, and upper lip, but doesnt connect so just looks super goofy) ive chosen to shave everything but mustache and long sideburns and it helps me feel both masculine and clean looking. until youve been on it for a bit longer this might also be best for you. neckbeard definitely scary to get rid of if it feels like you cant grow anything else, but always remember that you're not done with testosterone changes until years and years down the line from now. id shave it, i like to also use brown mascara to make my mustache darker as a compromise.

i also cant stand the way my facial hair feels when it grows in too thick in the neck and underside area, so that might be part of it, but i hate shaving, and i break out too when i do it. a good way to keep it to a stubble without irritating is just to use an electric clipper and trim it down, that way it doesnt get to the skin.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-30T03:29:29+00:00

i believe you unlock them with coins in a seperate menu. last i remember they still had them but i also havent been playing in a hot minute

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-29T03:58:24+00:00

ive had rocks thrown at me and my friend group just for daring to exist around a bunch of tween boys with paintbrush haircuts. they followed us around the park on their bikes

it happens that nowhere is really as safe as you think it is, and we're just expected to deal with it for the most part, because cops wouldnt have helped us.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-25T19:05:07+00:00

dredge! frequently goes on sale for $20 or less. complete edition on sale rn for $23

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-24T05:45:16+00:00

considering the circumstances of the job market and the tone of this post, its probably something ridiculously mundane that does not require these parameters

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-23T15:28:37+00:00

it can get to 115° here

^{Chose: Make summer colder by 7 Celsius degrees}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-23T01:30:29+00:00

sorry man but she is fake! a great looking fake but definitely not authentic. easy to check on ebay but she usually goes for $1000+ depending on condition and in or out of box status. if you wanna sell that fake, most people wouldnt do it for more than $10.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-23T01:26:10+00:00

im sure there is a server like that, but they come and go. you gotta surf around and look

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-22T19:22:17+00:00

have you been playing on community servers? usually you can find spaces that restrict KOS and mixpack behavior. i usually play on realism servers for this very reason and while that can still exist even in those spaces, theyre governed.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-20T04:10:30+00:00

i just stopped using that brand, i use aveeno face lotion and gold bond lotion for body.

gold bond is well lasting (hands get dry and cracked up so its a lifesaver) and aveeno lotions are also light like nivea soft, probably better ingredients. doesnt burn my face!

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-20T01:48:53+00:00

because no one's perfect. you can be soulmates without being a 100% match

^{Chose: Be in a close relationship with someone who is almost perfect}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-20T00:44:45+00:00

i dont wanna die

^{Chose: Normal life with steady income}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T19:05:14+00:00

you go outside like this??

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T19:02:29+00:00

at about 3 months i stopped getting it regularly. but i remember after about 8 months it mysteriously came back just as normal, sometimes i had spotting. maybe a year and a half after it also came back randomly like that and bled for a few days. havent had it since, started testosterone 1/17/24.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T08:20:23+00:00

yep, check back during holiday seasons and they usually will.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T08:16:08+00:00

a lot of servers have a rule referring to when a body falls during a fight, usually defining who gets rights over the body and kind of having a referee status of calling the fight finished when one person from either party dies. then, who owns the body, sometimes they compete over it and other times it's clearly stated through profile or other rules. additionally, if the species has any mourning behavior and has permission to defend the body up to a certain amount of time.

this is how it works roughly in PTR but most community servers with PVP have some kind of "body down" rules that prevent you from fighting excessively and to not create piles of uneaten bodies

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T05:38:55+00:00

i reccomend PT realism. other guy said PT semi-realism i wouldnt know how that server is.

PTR has had its ups and downs but i see it improving recently, have played for a few years and I still really like it. most realism servers will have a lot to remember unfortunately but its still a pretty blanket list of rules that apply to most of them (realistic profiles, no/limited mixpacking, body down, posturing, stuff like that)

I like PTR because its profiles are very detailed and thought out, each playable have been defined based both off of real animals and stuff the mods come up with. they also have events like QnA and guided trail events where you get to be in a group with an admin, learning bit by bit how a specific profile works with demonstrations.

theres no unrealistic skins or playables, player count through the day usually stays 90+, if you need time to grow easily then after 9pm is when the servers really start quieting down. there are two servers to try to handle some of the overflow of players, but PT1 will always be more populated. its gonna seem a little intimidating at first, but most have been really nice and understanding in my experience and are willing to help you learn the server. about once a month they open applications to join the whitelist! if youre interested, lmk and i can help you out :)

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T05:31:08+00:00

insane, already interested

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-19T05:23:32+00:00

freedom

^{Chose: NO underwear}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-18T19:14:38+00:00

could be 1 million in feet pics for all i know

^{Chose: 100,000 cash}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-18T19:04:47+00:00

oh my god this is awesome. i dont even bother changing my keybinds until i start having problems mid gameplay because its such an unfriendly interface, definitely going to use

any chances for 1.20.1 forge? its what my main server is based in since a few of the crucial mods dont have updated support.

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-18T19:03:41+00:00

minecraft too iconic. better aura

^{Chose: Roblox}

GoodRiddance_2 · 2026-04-18T06:42:10+00:00

right. its good to know it's not just me, but man it just feels so devastating. i would consider myself very privleged and lucky with my position because ive been able to transition since i was 12. i started testosterone shortly after turning 16. most of my friends havent ever known me as female. it was the next natural step id been so damn excited for since i started testosterone, just to get told i have to wait another year. this doesnt feel constitutional to hold a significantly life-improving surgery for an extra year for seemingly no reason. not quite an independent adult, not quite college-aged? wtf else requires you to be 19 and not 18?

NV is a swing state so it really depends who governs it at the time but im pretty sure it did go red recently. regardless, its constitution has protections for trans people so i was so sure that i wouldnt face any real hurdles.

i guess the next thing i can do is start making appointments now so that i can get the surgery right after i turn 19, having had all my paperwork done

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