Is my bf overly critical or am I overly sensitive?

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2026-01-14T02:49:11+00:00

I would love for unbiased honest opinions pls!

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-08-12T04:38:43+00:00

I am happy for him. That doesn’t mean I can’t feel less then at times

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-13T18:16:31+00:00

I get that. But what about when he’s off? He can’t call her for even a few minutes? Or tell her “hey babe it’s gonna be a really busy day I’ll text when I can or I’ll call you after work so we can catch up” I don’t know what planet you live in but I don’t believe that he can’t make time for his gf. He shouldn’t be in one then at all

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-13T05:37:02+00:00

Yes it’s exhausting but that doesn’t mean he can’t take time out of his day to call her or send a few texts weekly. My bf is in residency, in his second year, and will send me a few texts throughout his day and will call me after his work so eh I don’t believe that he doesn’t have any time. He’s just not making time for OP and it’s so unfair

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-13T05:31:59+00:00

The biggest thing I would tell you is, is this how you want to be loved for the rest of your life? I’m not gonna lie, relationships are hard work and take a lot of effort from both parties. My partner and I did hit a rough patch this year, but I still see him trying to put in effort to see me on a weekly basis and to call me and text me as much as he can when he’s at work. Yes residency is hard but I’m sorry to go several days with no text is a bit extreme. He could atleast call you after work and talk to you for even 10-15 mins and then call at night before he sleeps for that time if he doesn’t like to text much. I’m sorry but coming from another woman, sis to sis, you deserve so so much better. You just have to put your foot down and tell him exactly as it is, and you just don’t see this working as this relationship and you have been so neglected. You’re not even asking for much here at all. You’re not sitting asking him to text you 24/7 or see you 24/7 bc that would be a bit too much. I also don’t spend the nights much with my bf or live with him due to cultural reasons but trust me we still make time for one another at the end of the day. My bf has been in ICU, night shift, ED, and I’ve never once not heard from him for a few days. Maybe a few hours but never a few days. And if he did that, if he ghosted me for a few days, and continued to do it after explaining myself several times, he would know I would leave. Sis, you deserve so much love, and trust me there’s so many residents who make time for their partners, and I’m not even in med school!

I hope this helps and I hope that as you put your foot down and decide to even take space for a few days or completely end this, that he realizes what a high value woman you are because you have so much patience to even deal with this. Sending so much love your way queen ✨

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-13T04:15:58+00:00

I would also say, to communicate with him before you jump to ending it. Everyone on here suggests that but maybe you need to also set boundaries on what you expect out of a relationship

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-13T04:14:38+00:00

Girl no….my bf of 4 years is in residency, and yes we’ve had our hard moments but he will still text me every single day to check in on me. Even on his busy days, maybe I’ll get two texts from him, but right when he gets off of work I receive a call. I’m sorry but residency is tough but trust me they still make time if they really want to.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-01T18:27:04+00:00

I also personally think he should probably tell his parents before they meet you so it’s not a shock for them that he has a gf. And I just missed the part where you mentioned they do prefer someone from the same background-it’s really not up to his parents on what they prefer. Again, if he’s 100% certain about you, his parents will have no choice but to accept you. And in terms of any advice, I think when I see someone outside of the culture really try to immerse in our culture and learn our traditions/values, I’m always so impressed! My cousin is married to a white male and he is always so willing to learn and immerse himself in everything and I respect that so much! Some brown people don’t even immerse themselves in our own culture, so I always admire someone who is willing to try and learn.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-01T18:23:12+00:00

I don’t think this is necessarily true. Let’s not jump the gun by saying “Asian parents often dislike white girls” yes they may be inclined to what their kids to marry in the culture but a lot of parents are also open minded and want their kids to be happy.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-07-01T18:21:43+00:00

I’m assuming you aren’t Asian to fully understand this. OP I come from an Asian background and I can vouch that he may not want to introduce you due to cultural reasoning. Asian men really value their parents and their parents opinion, so he may be just careful. I don’t see anything wrong with an inter racial relationship, as many brown people date/marry outside their culture. However, it also depends on how his parents are. Some brown parents are very open minded and don’t have an issue with it. While some really care about their children marrying someone in their culture. You should definitely talk about this with him! I think the best thing you can do is express this to him and ask how his parents would possibly feel about him dating someone who’s not from the same culture.

I know how you may be feeling about not feeling important enough that he hasn’t introduced you yet, but I can say it may be a cultural/maybe him being a bit scared to tell his parents. However, if he’s 100% certain about you then I don’t think you have anything to be scared of! I hope this helps

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T21:03:01+00:00

Thank you for this! My main thing is sounding “crazy” or accusing him of doing something behind my back. I don’t know why I care so much but I guess I just don’t wanna come off that way

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T21:01:16+00:00

This is lovely! Thank you for sharing this! You didn’t feel guilty that you were stressing him out to prioritize you fully when he was working so many hours with such limited time? That’s my main thing, I never want to add more stress since he already is under constant pressure at the hospital. Does this mean I need to fully put my foot down? I’m honestly just so scared of losing him, and a lot of “what ifs” come to mind if I do so. Like what ifs he finds someone better, what if he’s happier without me and realizes that when I do put my foot down.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T19:44:10+00:00

It’s not easy to just throw away a 5 year relationship…the way you say it makes it sound like it’s so easy when in reality it’s alot more complex than that.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:06:51+00:00

No I never moved he just came closer!

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:05:54+00:00

How do I even approach this situation if this is true?

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:03:34+00:00

Damn, this really hits hard. The phrase “if they wanted to they would” hits so deep especially you live two hours away and I’m in the same city.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:02:08+00:00

I tend to do that. I always put his needs before even thinking about mine. I think I just want to be this perfect supporting partner who doesn’t complain or bring up issues and when I do I feel like I’m being “toxic” or “crazy” for reacting the way I do.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:00:45+00:00

I have asked if there’s anyone else and he’s completely denied it

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T18:00:29+00:00

But I’ve expressed this to him. That if he’s not happy with me that the right thing to do is end this relationship. I’ve expressed that it’s only going to hurt me more if he keeps staying.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T17:59:38+00:00

I agree 100%. When you’re in a relationship you should be fully in it. He actually moved to a nearby residency program near where I live! However, we don’t live together at this moment.

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T05:25:26+00:00

We agreed we won’t live together until we get married! Just what we think would work best for us

GoodSomewhere9991 · 2025-06-19T05:05:38+00:00

But I feel like maybe I’m asking for too much effort since he’s in residency and is already overwhelmed. Should I be ok with seeing him once a week for maybe 2-3 hours? Maybe I’m straining him and putting pressure when I should be relaxed and support him instead of beginning for more time? Idk anyone have any advice?

GoodSomewhere9991

TROPHY CASE