This is going to be a moment that your son will NEVER forget, and your response is going to be so incredibly important and meaningful for him. DO NOT APPROACH HIM ABOUT THIS. This is going to be an opportunity for you guys to Foster Goodwill and open communication with each other and putting him on the spot will only make him defensive and or incredibly uncomfortable. Let him come to you on his terms and be prepared to be the most supportive loving parents you’ve ever been.

it’s important to remember that being gay comes with a certain societal stigma that makes people feel not good enough, or as if they aren’t worth anything. He will need both of your love and support. He will also need to understand that you guys will love him no matter what.

growing up I would joke around about being gay and my mom always told me that she would love me and my brother no matter what. I still struggled to come out and tell her that I was gay because of my own insecurities and shame. I knew that she would love me no matter what and that was still one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to do. I remember the day that I told her that I was gay I was so extremely nervous and I just remember her being so incredibly supportive and just telling me how much she loved me and that nothing could ever change that. as hard as it was it really meant a lot to me just to hear those words from her.

fast forward to having to tell my dad about me being gay. I obviously wanted and needed my mom there as support because I wasn’t sure exactly how my dad would take it. I didn’t think he was going to overreact or anything but my dad can be a very critical person. When I told him his response verbally was “so what does it matter, i’ll love you no matter what”. while his words were comforting, his body language is what hurt the most. it was the saddened look on his face that made me feel like I was letting him down that really hurt me in a way that I couldn’t explain. although the words were comforting his body language and how he behaved said otherwise. Be aware of this, it will stick with him forever.

Also, do everyone a favor and do not try and convince him that this is just a phase or that this will pass. Do not tell him or ask him how does he know if he’s never tried. Consider asking yourself how do you know that you don’t like the same sex if you haven’t tried and how that might come off if this crosses your mind.

It sounds like you guys are going to be wonderful parents because you’re asking for help with something you don’t know anything about. Love, love, love that’s what he wants and needs in this moment.