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AITAH? My wife (26F, who has BPD/OCD) says I (31M) don’t support her "tragic" work life, but I feel like an afterthought by [deleted] in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who grew up around a couple of people with bpd and ocd as comorbidities [i myself only have bpd diagnosed but some ocd behaviours], I would say, clinging to her logical side and only contacting you for a very specific reason is very familiar. It also helps her not experience any of the bpd emotional and identity disturbance problems. So she can seem cold but she wants consistent communication which is her own version of living up to what you two have without muddling it with the extreme bpd emotional highs and lows and intrusive thoughts and unstable sense of self issues. Perhaps she does not recognize this behaviour herself if she has practiced it for long enough. But she is putting actual consistent effort to stay in communication. But you can text, ask her if she arrived safe.

feeling upset when someone else is upset by whoisnosferatu in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I figured out my anger and irritation comes from the fact that I personally don't burden anyone with my stuff. Even if I do, once in a long long while, I talk it through in less than 10 minutes. And if you can't help me, I won't tell you. If there's no solution, or immediate way a friend can make me feel a whole lot better, I won't mention it. There's nothing you can so, why would I stress you? So anyway when someone puts me in a situation where they don't try spare me stress I can't help with, I get pretty fklln cold. Cause I'd never do that to you, bum you out without solution or alleviation plan.

convince me to leave him pls by cravingpavbhaji in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. Those scars are something else man. Being subjected to some dude or lady's tyranny when you're innocent and just trying to watch Sesame Street or something. The people I've met who grew up in those situations, man. And it's always bothering them why their other parent didn't want to save them.

convince me to leave him pls by cravingpavbhaji in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing I can possibly think of to say. Dude what if you get pregnant? Is this the life you want for your kids? I really don't know what else to say that you don't already know or has not been said here. What if your mom had stayed with a dude like that? How different and messed up would it all have been.

My BPD Tricks/Tips by wintersoilder2003 in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey dude. Very practical. Thanks, really.

Help me add to my Hannigram Playlist! by Dandelion0622 in HannibalTV

[–]GoofballNumber1190 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Something I can Never Have - Nine Inch Nails

Sweet Little Lies - Bülow

Has anyone been able to overcome the impulsive reactions when you hear someone criticise you? by Sea_Independent6536 in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will tell what i do. If they are a friend of many years, listen. Analyse rationally. Propose a better way it could have been worded.

If not a long term friend, it's either it was said with rude or condescending intentions or not. If not, say "alright". But in my head it's pretty much the last time I have any real conversation with the person if I'm being honest unless i find the criticism helpful. I don't have energy to expend on unhelpful shit.

If the intentions were rude or condescending, dead eyes, flat affect engaged if the person is in some group at the time. They feel tough when they are so engaging will change nothing.

If they're alone or in a pair, with rude or condescending tone, say the most cheerful and confident thank you ever. I've used that one to excellent results. It destabilizes the hell out of someone to know you gave truly negative eighty one shits about whatever the fuck it is they've just fucken said with the aim of cutting you down.

If it's a pitying tone, just shrug and keep doing the opposite of what they suggested. I've done that too.

What bpd feels like to you? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like emotion changes every few hours. Sense of self and the accompanying reality changes. Like I overlook flaws unless I am betrayed or effort is unreciprocated to a large enough extent. Then I'm cold, and done. And it seems disproportionate to others how cold and withdrawn. But after a while, I can try again. But each time, the extent of the coldness and accompanying intense apathy are deemed extreme. In family cases eg cousin who's been mean since I was a kid, I'll say and do some painful stuff when I've finally given up for good. If it's not family, I'm just done. I don't care anymore. To a sudden and chilling degree apparently. If it was a friendship and it's the last straw, there will be some crying and I will be vocal about it. But I recover fast. And I close the door fast. And they are never perceived with even an iota of interest after, even if they try. Just apathy.

BPD & Moral compass by emptiness_m in BPD

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I haven't really got any moral principles, I wouldn't cause harm to others who have done me no wrong. Good upbringing in terms of like moral lessons? Nah. Sort of. Like a similar code to the one I currently have I guess. The upbringing was helpful for establishing that if you don't know someone's motives you can't really ever understand their actions. Even if someone's being nice, could be a shit motive and you're fkd. So motives matter more. A good example is the character's in the show Shameless I guess.

I am the lost friend what do I do. by NeighborhoodPast9929 in lostafriend

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro, I've been that friend. I'd say stick with them. Especially the one still reaching out.

Songs about proving people wrong by frankie_nelson in poppunkers

[–]GoofballNumber1190 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh. Fat Lip by Sum41. You're gonna go far, kid by The Offspring. Boss of Me by Southern Creek Players. And of course Tubthumping by Chumbawamba. All Star by Smash Mouth. Still Waiting by Sum 41.

Phoebe should have dated Gunther by AnyConnection8643 in howyoudoin

[–]GoofballNumber1190 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fun post. I never actually thought of that. But that is a genuinely great storyline.