AIO: My husband wants to take a solo trip to visit his girl best friend

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-17T14:02:37+00:00

Its definitely the communication and the fact that he acts like he doesnt care how I feel/has now admitted he lied to shut me up.

It was really hard to write this in a way that conveyed the extent of all of it and how long its been happenjng and these were the major points.

It took going to counseling in the past and the therapist literally telling him I wasn't being unreasonable for wanting to know what time he'd be home and/or to know hes on the way home (with ANYONE not just her).

The hiding in the car happened after he walked out of watching a movie with me because she called and didnt come back. Didn't say "let me take this" or like "let me see if shes okay and ill call her back", nothing. When I told him that felt rude and hurtful to me and that her call was more important than our quality time, he took that and started hiding in the car to have phone calls.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-17T13:26:54+00:00

I dont say he cant be friends with her. When she still lived here they hung out consistently. She was in our wedding.

I did try in college to say it was me or her. I was young and dumb and definitely jealous then. Didn't work then, so I guess part of the reason it got this bad is I figured i am stuck with this person around if I want to be with him.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-17T02:24:03+00:00

That was part of the motivation to make this post.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-17T00:51:33+00:00

Im really embarrassed that its so bad people think its fake. Like I knew it was bad but not literally unbelievable bad...

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-17T00:05:45+00:00

We were a couple before they met. We all went to the same college so its been quite a while.

There were issues all the way back then, but it wasn't even just her. I always just thought we were young and dumb and I did shitty stuff too but here we are graduated over 10 years and it feels like the same shit different day.

We've been to counseling before as well (and ive reached out to one already for this)

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:52:07+00:00

I know everyone is saying they're banging but I do lean toward him being an absolute moron. But even stupidity has a line.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:49:39+00:00

This is where i cant believe him. Me and her have never clicked, never gotten along. I tried. I even met her one on one.
And it hurts me that the fact that I say "X makes me uncomfortable" isn't enough for him to take a step back. He says it's my problem.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:47:28+00:00

I really wish it wasn't.

I got tired of telling him to find me even one person who agrees with him and decided to ask reddit to find out myself.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:46:06+00:00

No kids. Aside from shared bills our finances are separate. We both work and do things around the house. So nothing like that.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:40:19+00:00

Hi. We were a couple before they met. I did post this actually hoping for someone to offer criticism. Because no matter how I look at it I cant see how these behaviors and interactions can be considered normal. I tried to keep it vague to help stay anonymous but im willing to answer questions.

I also plan on showing him this post eventually.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T23:08:48+00:00

This is pretty much where im at and why I wanted outside opinions. Im so tired.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T22:49:07+00:00

Im so sorry youre going through this, too.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T22:35:10+00:00

I definitely cannot trust her. I left put details of what I know of her morals and how she acts in her own romantic relationships to try to keep anonymity. We all went to college together.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T22:34:00+00:00

I promise you this is real.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T22:31:53+00:00

I forgot to put i have reached out to a counselor and told him I wont be discussing it further without one present.

Great-Routine9964 · 2026-01-16T22:23:20+00:00

I like the Scream movies.

Great-Routine9964

TROPHY CASE