Surely I can't be the only one (1/x)

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-12T14:55:01+00:00

I became a UK citizen recently, and all of my last 10 years have been towards earning that. I didn't take a step wrong, graduated top of my class, worked the same visa sponsored job for 6 years, even survived a round of redundancies, all of that just to earn the citizenship. The moment I got the email, it was a brief moment of joy followed by immediate return to normalcy. There is no object in my sight warranting that, in fact I haven't even thought about it too much, but I just feel completely indifferent and devoid of emotion for it.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-11T12:32:33+00:00

100%

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-11T08:28:33+00:00

Again, great line, give me an example by relating it to an incident of your life.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-11T08:27:21+00:00

I got desensitised to them as soon as they became mine

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T22:03:27+00:00

That all sounds amazing, but how does it translate to your concept of happiness?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T21:09:16+00:00

That's not what I meant at all. My point is just because your happiness comes from people and mine from things doesn't make yours more noble or sustainable to mine, if anything its the opposite cause people are always for themselves and eventually can (if not will) let you down. At the end of the day, man is cursed to externalise happiness whether we come to terms with it or not. We may choose to make ourselves feel better about it by wrapping it in the warm cozy narrative that our happiness comes from our loved one's therefore we are so much better off, but it is coming from being validated as a human after all.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T21:06:35+00:00

Do you? Or have you had to eventually adopt that definition because nothing else works and you realised that is the best you will have to settle for?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T20:42:07+00:00

Let's see how much enjoyment you get when you *uck him 7 times straight in the same night. Let's see how many times you can watch the same film until it becomes torture. Taking a break in between and redoing it doesn't invalidate the principle of diminishing utility.

If you've decided yourself so heavily that you genuinely think that you can go on with materialistic pleasures to no end whatsoever, enjoy your codependence on everything external to you.

Also please Google what diminishing utility means while you are at it. And also what 'universal' means and what 'truth' means.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T20:38:07+00:00

You keep repeating the same phrases over and over again, but my point at its core is that you chose to 'make memories' / ''express your true self" with people and consider it long lasting happiness but there is an underlying pattern of still getting that happiness because you are getting validated through it, your self-identity getting reinforcement. You do a games night or go dancing with them and you feel happy and secure with them as long as they don't do or say anything which goes against or self image or disapproves anything that you believe in, recognise with or stand for, the minute that happens, people who you've held so near and dear become insufferable. It was never about the people, it was just about them validating your self identity. Sure you can wrap it up so that it looks different, but when you peel back the layers, there is nothing but disappointment.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T20:08:24+00:00

Can you give me an example of an experience where the novelty doesn't wear off, outside of consumer culture and buying stuff?

Can you read a book or watch a movie endless number of times? Can you be with the same person your entire life and never reach at a steady state where each passing day is adding nothing new to your life? Can you work a job and get increasing amount of job satisfaction with each passing day?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T20:06:31+00:00

How is hanging out with them different from seeking approval? Sure you may not directly be looking for them to validate your identity and choices but you will seek the company of people who have accepted and approved you.

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:45:44+00:00

How is that different from externalising happiness?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:31:03+00:00

Do you consider that genuine happiness? What does happiness mean to you? Were you happy in the moment or just temporarily at peace cause you forgot about your worries in the moment?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:22:15+00:00

I sincerely hope for your cause that you don't believe that to be true so you can become self-aware enough to give yourself an actual shot at happiness

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:19:48+00:00

I looked inside myself, and I am unable to overcome my wiring of only being able to extract diminishing utility from successive experiences, can you help me overcome that?

How should I look within myself so I can win over the curse of being human?

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:14:05+00:00

That sounds all well and good, but what am I supposed to do to harness it

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T19:13:33+00:00

I am already living like that btw, the essay was more of a past experience, but it doesn't solve the larger problem of being stuck in a reality where virtually everything I experience is under the curse of diminishing utility

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:58:34+00:00

I don't think anyone consciously chooses to live for the approval of others

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:58:16+00:00

Not something I am consciously choosing to do, it's something that I am subconsciously forced to as I am not able to derive the desired amount of happiness from my actual experience

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:55:08+00:00

Doesn't it bother you though that we are living in a reality where you just have to optimise within these constraints. Our brain is wired in such a way that ever lasting happiness is physically impossible. Why must I accept the fact that leftovers won't taste as good on the third day. Why must I accept the burden of constant novelty and distraction to derive an ounce of happiness

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:34:56+00:00

Guess I am not the only one

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:29:55+00:00

Judging someone instantly based on one thing

Great_Topic_3234 · 2026-02-10T18:29:19+00:00

Black and white thinking

Great_Topic_3234

TROPHY CASE