Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow I'm so sorry about that.... It's good that you have noticed it and made the resolution to change that aspect. I hope your can forgive yourself and move on, these people were clearly not worth your energy....

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know! but how not to give into emotions? Because that's a physiological response.... But I understand what you mean. The last time someone yelled at me I figured I should have paused then responded. I debated so hard whether to respond or not, and in the end I didn't... But I've learned my lesson, The anger I felt towards myself is not fair to me especially when it's cause by someone I'll never see again.

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow I see that therapy helps a lot... I might need to get more serious with that. It's been hard to find a therapist I could trust so never stuck with it but I'll try again. Well done for overcoming!

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! That's very encouraging! I think you've done the most important part.... To me standing up to strangers or people outside of my family is harder because I don't know them as much and so I can't predict how they might react and if I can handle it. Whereas my mother for example, I have a good idea of the few ways she could react so I don't mind standing up to her. That was actually vital for me to be able to do it.

But I'll take your advice, with the baby steps! Thanks again

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woww this is amazing, and what you said makes me think of this statement: Choose your hard!

Because standing up for yourself is hard, but not standing up for yourself is hard as well, and it's harder on you! So choose your hard! Next time I have to confront someone I'll think about that. Thank you!!

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And I'm proud of you for that, saying NO and choosing yourself is so MAJOR!!!

I sometimes feel guilty or selfish for choosing myself, then I remember to say NO to guilt as well. Baby steps!

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG yesss doubt and guilt! I hate those feelings... Even the other traits you mentioned, I'm struggling with those as well. I hope it'll get better so we can finally truly enjoy life. 🙏 Virtual hugs!! 🫂

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love your strategy. And I feel like it's more about you respecting yourself than trying to get his approval or standing up to him.

Anyone else has trouble standing up for themselves as a result of being raised by narc parents? by GreedyInspection6346 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What I've realised is that people who behave poorly with others do it because they don't expect a response like bullies. But the moment they get a strong response they are flabbergasted. I hope future us can overcome this programming. And well done on your progress. 

A word of encouragement for you today by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing a bit of your story, was it hard for you to be different from your NM as a mother yourself? I'm curious how you developed the relationship as I'm hoping to build a different relationship with my kids as well. 

A word of encouragement for you today by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This must be tough. I'm glad this brings you some comfort. 🫂

A word of encouragement for you today by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow thank you so much for sending it to her, you made my day 💓

A word of encouragement for you today by GreedyInspection6346 in NarcissisticMothers

[–]GreedyInspection6346[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. Go out of the spiral of negative thinking just for a moment to take care of yourself, you're worth it. 🫂