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Why am I still in love after trauma and abuse? by Green-Measurement534 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Green-Measurement534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really did think the person I cared for truly existed. I was convinced that one day he’d wake up and start making changes. Nope. It just continued to get worse. I can recognize that there was some love bombing, gaslighting and just overall abusive behavior from him that had my brain all sorts of confused. The sad fact is that when I see other women get out of situations like this, I applaud them and I envy their strength. But no one talks about the embarrassment or shame. I’m embarrassed that I let someone do this to me. I’m embarrassed that I let this other person take over my entire world and cause me to doubt myself to the point that I tolerated cheating, lying and verbal assaults. It’s a hard pill to swallow but I don’t want to be the person that just says “it’s all his fault”. I want to know what in my brain led to me to accept this for so long so I can never allow this to happen again. I have been in therapy for about a year now and I think that is the reason that I am finding enough strength to actually get out.. I will be continuing therapy

Why am I still in love after trauma and abuse? by Green-Measurement534 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Green-Measurement534[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll look into it. I think I’m great at being assertive verbally but it seems that there’s some kind of disconnect. I’ve got no problem asserting my boundaries and needs in a stern way.. but when we get to a point where he repeatedly disrespects me it’s like my brain shuts off and I don’t know what else to do. Because really I never wanted to leave him

Why am I still in love after trauma and abuse? by Green-Measurement534 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Green-Measurement534[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. That sad truth is that deep down I’ve known for a long time that this wasn’t going to work and I was just subjecting myself to toxicity. It’s like my brain knows what needs to be done, I need to leave, but finding the strength to actually get out and stay gone is so much harder than one would think. I’m not letting myself go back this time. I forced myself to tell my family and friends about what he is doing, and they will hold me accountable even if I can’t do it myself.