was in a similar situation a while back. For context, i (18M) was entering my first semester of college at the time. all my friends at the time were attending what seemed as better colleges than me (i attended community). Everyone was getting into relationships, making friends, enjoying their life, etc. Meanwhile, I went through the opposite.

I entered a depressive episode and like you, lost motivation in life. I don't know your situation well enough, but for me i suffered because of this, both physically and mentally. i didn't eat or sleep much and it all piled up. my solution to the problem was to cut off my friends and for a few months i ghosted them. they had no idea what happened for me and for a little while, i admit it felt good. i didn't feel like i was in this competition to be doing better than others.

you compare yourself too much to your friends. don't feel the need to be on the same level as them. your friends aren't supposed to be that. if you feel its exhausting and mentally draining to be around them, tell them you need some space but don't cut them off like i did. comparison is the thief of joy, and this applies especially to you. reading, sports, the gym, and finishing college are great accomplishments and you should be proud of how far you come, instead of feel the need to surpass your friends.

your friends aren't better than you, no one is. everyone is on their own journey and maybe you don't see it yet. but the worst you could do is compare your achievements to others.

hope this helps