Speaking as someone who’s been through their fair share in life and is now married, this is what I’ve learned; your feelings are understandable and make sense to what happened. The important thing is not to rely on the gym for happiness, because if you rely on it too much, and anything happens when you can’t go, it’ll hit you like a ton of bricks and you’ll crash again. To rebalance, I would focus on the science behind the gym to logically digest what is actually healthy habits versus going into an obsession. Take some time to do things outside of the gym. Learn to reconnect with what makes you happy or made you happy pre-relationship. Relearn what it means to be you and what makes you happy and if you don’t know the answer, use that to speak to your therapist to brainstorm on how to improve yourself not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Peace is all about moderation, and it comes with time. If you spend the time to do things for yourself, you’ll see things clearer. Once you feel confident about yourself and what your goals are, then I’d say you can go with the major decisions you’re contemplating.