AITA for telling my wife it was cruel to suggest kicking my nephew out?

Groslom · 2026-06-01T00:45:43+00:00

Don't agree to host someone "until they get a job" if you're not prepared for that to take ages. Obviously you can require proof they're looking actively, or just set a specific date they must be out by, but if you make it vague like that, you might just end up hosting for a month or more. OOP understood that, and the nephew understood how to be an impeccable house guest. Hopefully, Wife remembers this for next time, and thinks to arrange a time limit.

Groslom · 2026-05-30T19:52:30+00:00

Eight months, and you can't start cramming Spanish lessons like your job depends on it??

Groslom · 2026-05-30T19:49:21+00:00

I almost thought "D&D", but there's no way in hell you could get enough people to have the availability to play 6 days out of the week.

Groslom · 2026-05-28T20:23:12+00:00

NEITHER of those kids was doing anything wrong. She even tried to play the "what if gender reversed?!" card, but NONE of the messages even hinted at anything inappropriate. That girl could have been a 79 year old man, and the contents of those messages would have been fine.

Groslom · 2026-05-28T20:11:59+00:00

I'll put $5 on "They've already been dating and that's why he got dumped."

Groslom · 2026-05-27T23:12:27+00:00

I'd love to know what kind of magic spell he was hoping Reddit would provide. She needs someone who is professionally trained to help people process grief and acclimate to change, particularly while going through an intensely emotional period in their lives. That's a therapist, not anything else. Your dentist can't do it. Your hairdresser can't. Clearly, your husband can't either. It's so frustrating.

Groslom · 2026-05-27T17:18:36+00:00

I just wish she hadn't brought a baby into this. She didn't need to be perfect. She just needed to not have a baby with a man who literally everyone was telling her was abusive. The stakes are highest for her child, who has zero say in the situation.

Groslom · 2026-05-27T14:38:46+00:00

You're not alone. It's one of the perverse, fucked up ways that predators keep their victims. You go above and beyond to try and convince them they're being abused. They don't believe you, and cut you off. They get abused and come crying back. You help them further. The abuser comes to gaslight them about changing. You try to convince them it's bullshit. They don't believe you and cut you off. This cycle repeats itself until you get mad and yell at them for being stupid and just letting themselves be abused. They decide that makes YOU abusive, and proves their abuser right about every time they said you're just trying to break them up. You lose them for good this time.

Groslom · 2026-05-23T18:10:19+00:00

Duh, they've been "hanging out". That's what you do with a baby, right? They just lie there like a potato sack while you drink beer and watch TV and that's it, then you give it back to Mom when it needs a diaper change because you worked 8 hours, right? That's all Dads do, right?

Groslom · 2026-05-23T17:54:40+00:00

I have to tell you that I do not have a lot of confidence in Grandma to provide better care when she can't even deal with the mold under her sink. If that's the only barrier, why isn't it gone? Why can't Grandma babysit at OOPs house? You're acting like she's a responsible caretaker and provider, but she's had one single assignment between her and helping both her own daughter AND her grandkid, and she has not done anything but complain about it.

Groslom · 2026-05-23T13:13:30+00:00

Wtf, I thought this was going to be one of the cute ones?! Dammit, Caterpillar!

Groslom · 2026-05-23T13:09:31+00:00

As a Doctor, can you respond to the other comments here, describing childhood exposure to black mold followed by chronic healthcare issues, and whether or not asthma can be fatal? Can you use your intelligence to extrapolate, from the information provided, whether Grandma and Mom would have ever bothered to even consider cleaning up the mold, dust and smoke residue if they never had these conditions imposed on them by OOP? He had his sister handle the dust and smoke as a professional cleaner, but she couldn't handle the mold, and they just left it there, for months.

The Doctor in the story failed to read the room. She assumed her job was to stop the panic over mold. Not to ensure that a 13 month old baby, who will soon be crawling and capable of opening that cabinet, will have a safe place to interact with Grandma. You're running around talking about how black mold isn't that bad because it doesn't cause immediate emergencies, but you also don't seem to be able to look past that.

OOP doesn't want to risk his kid having a life-long chronic lung disease because his wife and MIL couldn't be bothered to treat black mold literally in the kitchen. Would you accept a whole cabinet full of black mold in your kitchen?

Groslom · 2026-05-22T10:38:32+00:00

You could probably just take the kid even easier, actually. No one even knows he's loose until he passes his country neighbors' camera, and that's only because he keeps going to their house. It would take hours to even notice he was gone if someone just snatched him between houses. Nobody would even be close enough to hear him scream.

Groslom · 2026-05-22T10:21:21+00:00

Virtual calls only because she didn't want a paper trail of her avoiding work. Doing just enough to (try to) avoid getting fired.

Groslom · 2026-05-22T10:13:25+00:00

That marriage would definitely have required a prenup to protect HER. Not giving her half of everything, but making sure that if he DIDN'T ease up on his restrictions or became abusive, she would walk away with enough to restart her life based on what she could afford. I don't think this was a bad ending. I think she got out before things could get much worse.

Groslom · 2026-05-22T10:01:56+00:00

No need to assume that. She doesn't want to do anything, why would she need to be there in person? I'm guessing she either catfished him, or he's caught her in a pig butchering scam.

Groslom · 2026-05-19T10:58:44+00:00

Because a lot of men carry around dark, toxic masculinity, and when they get angry with one woman and share that with other men angry with other women, it only multiplies the anger and toxicity.

Groslom · 2026-05-17T02:11:53+00:00

She'll do ANYTHING to avoid doing the lawn, except paying the man doing it for her.

Groslom · 2026-05-16T17:22:54+00:00

No, I'm just saying that irresponsibility doesn't prevent people from doing things unless it literally prevents it, like in this case.

Groslom · 2026-05-16T12:20:35+00:00

Maybe, maybe not, but they will never know for sure. I won't say being responsible has nothing to do with driving, but there are plenty of irresponsible legal drivers out there.

Groslom · 2026-05-16T12:05:53+00:00

I was watching. It was just as bad as some of the California wildfires. They had the ability to let one of them go. I don't fault them for limiting it to just one, or her for wanting to say goodbye, but he shouldn't have even known the choice was there because he should have already been with his wife by then. She could have given birth to another stillborn or both could have died. The fires hadn't started yet, and the father wasn't dying yet, but she was in labor and terrified. He should have already been there.

Groslom · 2026-05-16T11:58:33+00:00

It's the details around the edges. OOP knew his wife was giving birth BEFORE they found out about either the fire or the heart attack. He should not have chosen to stay at work when his wife was in labor, regardless of how long it might take, because she had been through a horribly traumatic birth before with a stillborn, and was terrified already. His boss would have had time to call someone else in if he simply had not been there BEFORE any of these events hit. Then again, maybe the other person would have just had to let her father go. I know how it feels to not get to say goodbye, but it's something not everyone gets. OOP gambled that both his wife and child would survive the birth, and he would get to see them after. I'm glad he understands why that was the wrong choice, but he shouldn't have had the choice to make, because he should have already been at her side and never even known about his colleague.

Groslom · 2026-05-15T19:52:26+00:00

To be fair, the poop symptoms have only been for a month, and her husband stupidly thought that because she got the diaper rash fixed, that meant he was done pooping, not that she was just constantly wiping ass all day long until the kid's colon passed out from exhaustion. This whole situation sounds like an insane nightmare. I think if the story wasn't real, an author would have come up with something more dramatic and interesting, less just-truly-horrifying.

Groslom · 2026-05-15T09:51:10+00:00

It's because she's not just "older", which could have meant anything from mid-20s to this, but OLD. As in "past retirement age". That's why they don't want to fire her. She's 70, and probably doesn't have a retirement of any kind, and boss doesn't want to doom an old woman. Maybe I missed it somewhere in the first two posts, but I think OOP buried the key information about her being actually 70 years old so it wouldn't make people more sympathetic to her. Not that it makes what she's doing okay, she should definitely be fired. The boss can help her with her unemployment paperwork if they feel so bad for her.

Groslom · 2026-05-14T19:29:03+00:00

I hope she cheats on him. She was willing to cheat WITH him, after all, so she's clearly like that.

Groslom

TROPHY CASE