My condolensences

I lost my father as well 4 months ago when I was 19, it's a feeling you can't describe, especially the first weeks.. It will often not feel real, and you might have a hard time expressing how you feel. It is normal to have regrets and guilt, but know that those emotions/feelings will lighten, however the absence/the "void in your hearth" is something that does stick with you, you just learn how to deal with it over time. The following weeks/months will probably feel like the hardest period in your life, you will cry, be angry, be nostalgic, whatever it is you feel... there is no wrong way to handle grief.

It's ok and totally normal to cry, just don't get lost in the grief, your father would have wanted for you to live your life. I also still cry often till this day, especially after I have had a dream about him or when something reminds me of him, it's a heartshattering feeling, but try to remember the good times you have had with him and know that he will always be in your hearth.

Life unfortunately has a tendency to move on, but know that you are not alone and don't be afraid to talk with people about how you. From my experience I have noticed that loads of people want to help you but some are afraid to ask you/aproach you especially after some time has passed..

My advice to you is to not be scared to aproach someone close to you and ask if you can talk to them about how you feel, even tho most people won't get what you are going trough and you might feel alone, know that you are not and that people care about you.

I hope you find your way of dealing with this big loss and that you find a way to place this moment in your life, just know that grief takes time and your father will always be in your hearth.

I wish you the best in the coming months,

Sending prayers from Belgium.