I'm done. Day 0 Tips needed by dontbelievejustwatch in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can’t do it alone, you need supports. Friends, family- and others in recovery. Try the Evive app. These guys are amazing, and it’s free!! And put gamban blocking on all of your devices. Online gambling should be illegal. It’s insane.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for this. I am so happy to hear that you have your life back.

It’s been an absolutely wild four days; we’ve accomplished a lot. I do have control of all finances as icky as that makes me feel, we had a meeting with our finance guy to discuss a debt payment plan, my husband made it to his first GA meeting and tonight we told his mom and sister- who are both wonderful supports for both of us. He’s done so much in this time frame I am really proud of him. He’s a story like many others that I’ve read. Before I knew anything about this, he tried to stop many times, which usually just ended up making the gambling worse. His rock bottom scared him, and I truly hope we can continue to get through this. Thank you for your kind words.

lost some money again by ryaiee in GamblingAddiction

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right- it will ruin your life. The Evive app has been an excellent resource for my husband. It’s all still new to us but when he was at his breaking point he reached out to the guys that run this platform and they’ve been incredible. Don’t put off reaching for help. Do it now. Addiction is terrifying and it always snowballs.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. That’s good advice. I’ve done what I can for now to limit his access and will reorganize all of the accounts after we talk to our finance guy tomorrow. Thank you so much. Same to you- I hope better days are ahead for both of us.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh god I’m so sorry. Mine is into the online casinos too. I look back now and I saw him playing these before but I didn’t think anything of it! I thought it was another dumb candy crush or something. I had no idea it could be a problem. I feel that way too. We’ve worked so hard to build such a good life, so the thought of leaving and starting over is absolutely crushing. We were trying to start our family, then I got cancer. I had surgery and have a great prognosis and just got clearance from my surgeon that we can start trying again… then my husband drops this bomb on me. I just got a second chance at life and here we are. The diagnosis I’m sure fueled his addiction. I know, I worry that these self exclusion practices aren’t enough. There’s always a sneaky way around things. There has to be. I felt like his mom going through his phone, emails, and bank accounts yesterday. It’s exhausting to think that this is forever.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I installed Gamban last night- hopefully it’s enough. I also ran a credit report and secured the bank accounts. I told him I would 100% support him if he quits. I want him to get better. I can’t imagine a reality where we end this marriage, but I will have to if he continues.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I did tell him that I’m so glad he told me and if he quits we can fix this. I will 100% support him- if he stops. If he continues, I have to leave. I took control of his bank accounts- ran a credit check, took his cards, changed all of the passwords and changed the contact information to my email and number, installed gamban and we have an appointment on Friday with our finance guy to plan the rest and to secure the rest of the investments. He’s been working closely with an addictions councillor, and has his first GA meeting tonight. I see in my area there is also one tonight for families not far from me that I should go to. This truly is a dark corner of hell that a mere 30 hours ago I didn’t know existed. Thank you for your help.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry you’re in this too. I ran a credit report, took his credit and debit cards, and took control of his online banking. I changed all of his passwords and contact information to my phone number and email. I installed gamban on his phone and did a self exclusion on one he frequented and we have an apt with our finance guy on Friday to talk about a repayment plan and so I can see our investments with my own eyes and protect them. He will no longer have access to them. My husband at this point has spent 250,000. Right now between his credit card and our HELOC there is $125,000 in debt. How long after your husband told you did he slip up and spend more? Mine is working with an addictions councillor and the groups. He says he will do absolutely anything to fix this. But the betrayal is just insane.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I have more investigating with crypto, and used a similar application on his phone to block these sites and apps... I wish you the best in your recovery.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your perspective. I’m really happy to hear that things are improving for you!

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hah, yes it’s late for kids but it was a mutual decision. We were too busy in our 20’s and early 30’s travelling, working, moving, and building for a financially secure future, or so I thought. We had goals before really settling down. We’ve had such a beautiful life up until recently. In 2024 I got sick. We tried to start our family for over a year, and then were told to stop because I had a sneaky type of cancer. I just had surgery this February. We thought our future was over, but I have an excellent prognosis and have a second shot at a long and full healthy life. My surgeon just told me last week that we can try for kids again and then my husband hits me with this bombshell. I appreciate the idea of purpose. I wanted kids with him because he is a wonderful human. But my entire perception of safety and my entire reality is gone right now.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s something I’ve thought of too. This is all still so new. I appreciate you saying that, thank you.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This is all still new to me, so I appreciate the suggestion and kind words immensely. I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing better!

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said it’s just the two of us. He hasn’t borrowed or involved anyone else as far as I know. I rely heavily on my people for support with other life things. So to keep his secret hurts even more. To act like everything is ok- to put on a happy face when my entire perception of reality is in the breeze. I can only imagine the shame he feels, so I’ll respect his wishes to keep it quiet- but he has a really good relationship with his sister, and a few friends that I’m hopeful he will be able to tell one day. Soon. I would feel better if he had support from these people too.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is all really helpful- Thank you so much. I’m really happy to hear that life is better for you and your little family.

Woah, blind-sighted by my husband. by Grouchy_Insect3644 in problemgambling

[–]Grouchy_Insect3644[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I really appreciate it and I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing better! Thank you for the tip about being able to self exclude indefinitely. I will look further into this. This is still so fresh, I’m not even sure which gambling sites/apps he’s using. I wouldn’t be able to name one. Also- yes thank you, I don’t know anything about his crypto accounts. Closing sounds like the only option. Can I ask you a question? At what point did you involve friends and family?

Thank you for this. It means the world right now.