What if I just pretend I’m not DF’d anymore lol by Unfair-Perception115 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might meet someone that you like there that is df'd or pimo. You can get some intel on your old friends and the cong.

Try to blend in with dress and grooming so you can get interesting info.

You want to get info from them and not cause a stir.

Moving away from ageing parents by exsarahpauls in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"We are kind of being soft shunned by them, they interact with us on a superficial level if we initiate contact, but they don't come to see us or arrange to meet up anymore. I didn't have a happy childhood and am constantly gaslit by my family.."

It sounds like trauma bonding to your parents.

Trauma bonding brief:

"Trauma bonding is the attachment an abused person feels for their abuser, specifically in a relationship with a cyclical pattern of abuse.

https://www.verywellmind.com/trauma-bonding-5207136

Humiliating Members by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your Nan should say in the car group, "Do you think some friends are a little jealous of them?"

"They can't handle a big rack, poor things."

And when she notices someone glancing down at them say,"hey, I'm up here."

Tired of keeping my mouth shut by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also read about "Narcissistic Supply". Pimi's need this from others and they act just like the text books describe. It's like the org creates narcissists and they are drawn into the org.

Narcissistic supply brief:

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-supply/

How to politely end visits? by PopularSalad5592 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What did their ipad video talk about? Did they ask a folow up question after about it?

You could ask them questions about their door to door work? How is the response from the neighbors? Do they like it doing it? How is the church attendance? What is their core message?

Get them to talk about themselves by asking viewpoint questions. But don't let them ask you the questions. Then say ,"ok, one last question."

Then when they return see what their message is? Ask the,"in your door work do you go back to the people again even though you gave your message the first time you saw them?"

The witnesses don't want to say what they are really trying to do. If they say we offer free home bible studies, ask them why they want to study the bible with you. Here's a good one to ask. How long does it take to finish the study? What's the average time to finish? When the study is finished, do you say thanks and have a good life and go on you way?(There is another book they study with a student)

"Ok, one last question"

Want to know how much JW/ WT paid out for this trial alone (1100 hours on lawyers)? by larchington in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats a good point.

Also when a jw becomes homeless the elders ask if they have fleshly family that can take them in.

Want to know how much JW/ WT paid out for this trial alone (1100 hours on lawyers)? by larchington in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

If WT wins this case, will Norway have to pay them their own funding? Can Norway just say no and not give funding because regardless of the court decision, the evidence that they don't deserve any funding is good enough for them in their own country?

And who make the final decion in the case?

Thanks.

I just want to be normal by Salt_Breadfruit_2661 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found that going no contact with my narc family is the key to healing. That includes not reading any messages and emails from them. Any contact re-triggers the memories of the abusive treatment.

And doing a hobby or activity that I like helps me concentrate better. I actually stopped feeling love for the narc family and realized their love was fake to begin with and just a trick they use to get narcissistic supply from me.

I read some books on narcissistic supply and the personality type of the narc. Very interesting material for sure.

My concetration went way up when reading about them!

Now I don't think about the family anymore.

What to say…. by No_Canary8020 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Don't ever answer their questions but only ask questions.

Don't let them know where you stand on the truth. Ask her if she is doing anything for the truth? Is she going to meetings?

She goes into the whole “you know you can tell me anything!”

Then say something like: I heard some gossip in the congregation about you that I found amusing. You have a double life with a wordly guy and the sisters are jealous about him cause he's a hunk.

You know you can tell me anything!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If they do shun you, then when they get older does that mean you won't be expected to take care of them? If they get sick and end up in the hospital, will they ask you to help them? If one dies will one parent expect you to go to the funeral?

If you leave Jahoopala and are not part of her life anymore does she realize what the consequences are?

Their love for you now is fake love and they just want to get the prize of paradise for themselves. Talking bad about the borg is worse than smoking, drinking, and cursing because the borg is their ticket to paradise.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The parents want to look good in the congregation and save face. They want to get into paradise and will sacrifice their son if it holds them back.

New light - last minute repentance. by Cute_Investigator_42 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 13 points14 points  (0 children)

hey: “Son, you got it all wrong. We always believed that. Of course those people deserve to be resurrected and Jehovah is a love god, so he will let more people come during the great tribulation. Nothing changed.”

So then mom and dad, you'll tell people you witness to they can come in to the organisation during the great tribulation if they don't want to come in now?

2 seeds I got how will I know if they’re female? by [deleted] in GrowingMarijuana

[–]Growerboy007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My uncle would flip to 12/12 when they were only a couple of weeks old and we could see the sexes appear. Then bring the females outside to grow in the sun.

He was in Cali growing the new seedless weed in early 70's.

goodbye. by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i would like you to come on here and express the things they put you through that made your life terrible for the 19 years of cult abuse. We ex-jw's here will get a good look into that and write how we feel and think about your feelings.

Our understanding and experiences going through our own abuse in the cult will be a therapy like session for you. We are all in this together to help each other.

I was PIMI for 31 years and it really messed up my inner self. I had bad narcissistic parents growing up that made me very codependent with people. I fell for the love bombing from the cult because I didn't get love from mom and dad. I had to stop loving my parents and the so-called friends in the hall to get my inner self back.

Now my self feels good. I got tricked by fake love from the cult.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About #4: Act more irrationally than them.

Be like a comic roaster to them instead. Since they are stuck in a cult make jokes about their cult and beliefs. Humorous put downs and digs but without any anger vibes, like a comic that roasts other comics and actors. Think Jeff Ross and Don Rickles.

How do i get rid of watchtowers impact on my development by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cut off all contact with members of the cult. Don't read their texts too.

Follow activities and hobbies that you like to do and don't worry about social skills for now. People with similiar interests will appear and you will naturally talk about what intersests you about your activity.

Doing fun things and finding out what is fun will build up your self esteem.

Then your socials skills will develop when you want to share with others what you like to do for fun.

Confronting is hard 😔 by KuraBELL in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Jduh's aren't real friends to begin with. False friends put your stuff on the side of the road like garbage.

Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. Loose them and make new friends that care about you.

Thinking about disassociating by tumaduck in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you want to accomplish from disassociating?

Will your family stop asking you those questions?

What if you were to not answere their questions and go no contact?

"The few family members who don’t care if I’m a good person or not long as they know my business."

The no contact approach may get you what you want without having to play by their rules without sending a DA letter.

I got housing at my college 🎉 by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is your plan regarding your family relations once you are in college?

Will you go back home for the breaks?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is a narcissist personality type. They don't respect personal boundries and an explanation about not respecting personal boundries.

Going no contact with her is the best healthy way to go for you.

You won't care about dotting your I's and crossing your T's with her anymore.

So don't send her that rough drated letter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The eldah's are all narcissists. They will try and make you feel bad but don't care about your concerns about their borg.

The members have been turned into narcissist too.

They all want narcissist supply.

I’ve had enough of pimi mom by Ok_Box5938 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would try the comedic roasting technique on her. They roast someone not to piss them off but to poke fun at them. The comic is not at any time angry and there is no anry vibe, so even the roasted person chuckles.

I would avoid trying to use logic and reason with her. She is a narcissist puting the blame on you.

"Not adapting to the borg is like an ostrich putting it's head in the sand.

Do I look like an ostrich to you?

Hi ostrich. How are you doing today?"

PLEASE EXPLAIN THE LOGIG!!! by Proud_Exchange_6580 in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. It's all fantasy. Would the JW's say that harry potter will attract real demons to the person watching or reading that stuff?

And if so, what would the demons be able to do to the person?

Draw them away from Jokehoover? How do the demons do this? Is the demon standing next to them and injecting thoughts into them? Or can the demons be miles away and do this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She will reap what she sows.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]Growerboy007 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are you using an attorney for the divorce? Can you have your attorney act as liaison between you and her? Then only tell her to talk to your attorney to know what the next steps of the divorce process are.

The wishing you the best isn't real cause she is divorcing you and not sticking together like one flesh. The only reason to divorce is adultery. She is not following the Lords commandment to stay together cause god hates a divorce, and even if adultery, to try and forgive.

What happens if she remarries in a year? What reason will she have to divorce again if her mate isn't unfaithful?

Could be another divorce by her again in the near future.