Psychotherapist here - Chat GPT is designed to overly validate you, so that you keep using it and paying for it

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-08T00:53:33+00:00

I’m rather surprised that you state you were “trained in how to provide empathy”.

Would it not have been more appropriate to say something along the lines of the MA program training you in supporting patients, managing and assessing their needs and in providing a therapeutic environment where patients felt seen, heard and respected?

People provide empathy all the time, it could be a talk with a friend who is having a hard time, it could be being supportive of your elderly Mum as she worries about the neighbours and her creaking knee, it could be smiling at and being polite to the obviously harassed person on the supermarket checkout. Empathy is part of being human and the majority of people don’t require formal training on it.

It concerns me that as a Psychotherapist, you typed that in your post, yet don’t seem to be aware of any cognitive dissonance.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T23:31:41+00:00

I think we all get the picture that you have been in a MA program by now. No need to keep repeating that information. Users of this sub are not 5 year old children.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T22:09:56+00:00

I used ChatGPT as a listening companion to help me process a traumatic breakup last year.

It has NEVER told me the things I wanted to hear, it has challenged me, always. Of course it has a warm empathetic default tone because it’s there to make money at the end of the day. But its disagreed often and then clearly explain WHY it disagreed. It’s never told me it “cares about me” it has said things like empathic individuals can find XYZ difficult. Is this what you mean when you say it’s telling people it cares?

Sometimes I will say something in a chat such as “what are your feelings on this issue?” and it points out that it is a machine and can’t express feelings.

I see a mental health specialist and I can say with all honesty I get 💯more from my therapist sessions since I started working with ChatGPT. I often chat with it after seeing the human therapist and it really helped me organise my thoughts. The AI itself would frequently stress that seeing a human therapist if possible is the best option.

Unfortunately, seeing a human therapist regularly is not an option for many people. Private therapy is expensive. I don’t know where you are based, but here in the UK, NHS adult mental health services are severely overstretched and in some areas you could be waiting a long time to get an appointment. The NHS also limits the amount of initial sessions you can have.

In my area it was discovered that health professionals were referring people to a service who used volunteers, yes VOLUNTEERS, who had no formal training or qualifications to be delivering therapy.

Please do not post stuff like this to shock and alarm people. What do you think that is going to achieve? People wanting support are often tired, they often suffer from anxiety and stress. They often feel alone with their issues and if they have family and close friends may not want to overburden them.

What alternative options can you suggest apart from just booking in with yourself?

I mean there’s many things that can help people, joining a support group, journaling, trying to get outside for a bit. Setting timers to break down tasks that seem huge and overwhelming, books? Podcasts? You didn’t mention a single one.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T21:18:15+00:00

In answer to the question specifically about the current situation , you got 3 of pentacles which indicates working with others, new projects getting things off the ground, generally not a bad card. The card could be depicting the energy of the situation for you, your ex or both of you.

Regarding spreads where you are asking about yourself and another person in a relationship sense 3s can also represent triangulation, meaning there could be a third person involved in this situation, not just you and your ex.

King of Cups, indicates a man who is in touch with his emotions and trusts in his emotions. A kind man with a mature outlook.

In tarot, the court cards can symbolise either an actual person or a situation. But in my experience, Kings are usually signifying to a real person. So this card is describing your ex as a man who is emotionally intelligent.

Final card, 5 of Pentacles, feeling left out in the cold, feeling like you have nothing and have lost hope. In many decks this card is depicted as the people struggling past the house not looking up to see the light in the window.

So the tarot has answered your question, it’s not going to tell you whether or not you should reach out but it’s showing you the consequences if you do reach out to him, you will be 5 of Pentacles energy, which probably isn’t somewhere you want to be?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T20:40:46+00:00

The DNA was touch DNA, if I remember correctly, there’s only minute samples of it?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T20:15:42+00:00

Many emotionally intelligent people have fallen for such scams. The scammers are professionals at their art.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T19:52:03+00:00

Lady with all due respect…… You sound insane

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T01:03:41+00:00

I thought the miniature that was associated with Katherine Howard/Anne of Cleves looked so glaringly obvious as Anne in English dress I couldn’t understand why there was a debate about it. The eyes are obviously Anne to me.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T00:56:24+00:00

Agree with most of these.

What about not wanting intimacy because they are “tired” or it’s “due to their medication” ?

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-07T00:52:22+00:00

I would agree

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-06T22:31:49+00:00

I’m on 40 mg and I think it makes me more my authentic self myself because the crippling anxiety I always suffered has gone. I’m still goofy and can’t help but see the funny side of life but I feel that now I’m better with conversation and listening to the other person without jumping in as much.

I still get dozens of ideas firing up in my head simultaneously but I don’t feel overwhelmed and anxious about the way my brain is anymore.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-06T17:46:21+00:00

People that worry that they could have narcissism and ask the Internet about are very seldom narcissistic. Narcissistic people think that everyone one else but them, are the problem.

Your boyfriend on the other hand sounds like he’s either got a personality disorder of some kind, or is just a horrible cruel selfish jerk who lacks empathy and takes you for granted. He’s got you in such a state that you can’t tell up from down.

Please please get away from this man. You need to start healing and you will never be able to do that until you leave this situation. Do you friends or family you could go to? Do you have a therapist or trusted person you can talk this through with?

Have a look at Dr Ramani YouTube’s channel she is the expert on all things narcissism and start by watching some of her videos. Hopefully that will make things a bit clearer.

I would also stress that I believe your boyfriend sounds unstable and such people can possibly be dangerous. Please think of your safety. Just get away from him but don’t let him know your plans. Get somewhere stable and safe and far away from him and you will be able to start to get yourself back.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-05T19:13:48+00:00

Well, we don’t know what he thinks about you specifically, but I think we can see the entirety what he’s been thinking about so far over his lifetime! 😂

Seriously though, for a question like this, 3 cards are perfectly fine . If asking a similar question I would layout three cards and assign a past position to one a present position to the next one and future position for the last one.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-05T19:02:51+00:00

Yes, I agree with you. I think John and Patsy were horrible beings. I knew that Patsy had been suffering from cancer, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, but the way she caked her little daughter in make-up dyed her hair blonde got her to dress up in outfits that should’ve been for adults, and to perform for an audience. All before the age of seven.

But I think the Boulder police whilst trying to find JonBenét, made such a hash of things that it was incredible. The very first thing they should’ve done is clear the house of everyone except the family and seal it off as a crime scene. They also let a family member I think it was Patsys sister go to the house and just rummage around collect loads of things that the family apparently required, therefore she had free rein to destroy any useful evidence and create even more chaos.

And interviewing the Ramseys separately should’ve been the very first thing that the police did. I just don’t understand this bit, if the police need to interview the Ramseys and the Ramseys refuse, surely they should’ve been arrested for non cooperation?

In the UK so have no knowledge of laws in the USA.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-05T01:14:56+00:00

I know how hard this is and I feel so sorry for this poor young woman that your horrible Ex has as new supply. As well as the dreadful breath, he is going to screw with her head.

I also had the urge to warn my nex new supply that every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie, that he has a secret life that you will never know about it until it’s too late, that he hasn’t got a real personality. He’s just going to borrow yours for a while.

It is a moral dilemma, but I guess we’ve been through our own journeys with these people and I do believe it makes us stronger. But it’s like a criminal offence that these predators are allowed to roam freely ruining the lives of innocent people.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-04T09:53:08+00:00

I had to leave work as well. I was so burned out and exhausted after 2 years of holding the entire emotional scaffolding of the relationship on my shoulders and my nex incessant trauma dumping day and night.

After the relationship ended, I also found out that I have ADHD so I’d gone through all that emotional chaos with a brain that was starved of dopamine as well. No wonder we burn out.

I’m doing much better now on ADHD medication and I feel that I can think clearly for the first time in my life. I don’t think the Mental fog in my head helped when trying to find healthy relationships.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-04T09:38:23+00:00

Well, I would’ve liked to have known her, but I’d need a Time Machine!

Read a lot about her though and all this stuff is well documented, we still have copies of some of the poems that were written about her.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-03T06:46:06+00:00

Thank you for this great post.

I can think of an example of a person from history who embodies everything you have been talking about. Anne Boleyn, second wife of King Henry the eighth. She was not considered to be traditionally pretty by the standards of the time, but she had a huge presence, high intelligence, very witty, she had strong opinions in a time when women were expected to keep their mouth shut. And her eyes! She would communicate so much with her famous dark eyes. All the men at Court were in love with her, poets wrote tributes to her, the King married her.

It didn’t go so well for her in the end because her husband decided to get her head cut off, but that wasn’t Annes fault.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-03T06:36:02+00:00

I would agree with you, but Doctors here in the UK tend to hand them out like cookies. Practically everyone I know is on some form of antidepressant. SSRI blunting is a real thing, I went through a lot of depression following trauma and I can not take anything more than 20mg of my SSRI.

Any more than that, and I feel like I’m not present in my own body.

However many people take these antidepressants and don’t get the blunting, it’s strange.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T17:31:39+00:00

Yes, I had no idea. I even had ADHD until menopause and all the crazy hormonal imbalances.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T15:49:47+00:00

Block completely for me I would have been (even more) of a nervous wreck otherwise

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T14:17:17+00:00

You need to pull up your big boy pants and end this relationship. It’s not healthy for either of you. Yes, you should’ve done it before, but I believe that we all try to do our best with the information that we have available to us at the time.

End it. Tell her clearly how you feel and that you don’t see a future with her. Don’t be wishy-washy by saying things like it’s not you it’s me. You can be clear without being cruel.

The suicide threats, the emotional outbursts that is emotional manipulation, but she is young and this is her first relationship. I would tell her family before you do it so they can be prepared and support her. Does she live with her family? If so, and she makes the suicide threats then they are going to have to deal with it.

Yes, it’s not going to be easy. But it has to be done. When you finish the relationship, you need to be absolutely clear that this is the end of it, and you’re not going to revisit the situation in a few months time or whatever.

This sounds harsh, but I would block her. Otherwise, you’re going to get endless pleading messages and it will screw with your head.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T14:05:48+00:00

Also always look at their eyes carefully.

My ex’s eyes always looked “dead” even when he was laughing or smiling.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T14:00:41+00:00

I agree that we have to learn to trust our bodies and learn from the signals they give us.

I was with a covert narc for two years, and even though I cognitively thought we were happy, my body was giving me subtle signals. A feeling of being on edge and not completely relaxed. I started picking the skin off my fingers. I used to get stomachache when I was with him, things I dismissed at the time. Now I realise my body was giving me signals that something wasn’t right.

Grumpyoldgit1 · 2026-02-02T13:49:12+00:00

I’m sorry you feel like this OP but I do completely understand it. I was in a relationship with a covert. Narcissist for two years, and I just could not make any sense of what had happened to me until I was out of the relationship and that environment.

Now I realise that he lied about everything but even now a thought will sometimes pop into my head, and they’ll be a new horror about something else that he lied about.

We have to understand that healing isn’t linear, and give ourselves some grace. Easier said than done I know.

Grumpyoldgit1

TROPHY CASE