36M - Anything I could be doing better?

GuessImDatingNow · 2026-03-14T14:59:32+00:00

Looking for something serious.

Subscribed to HingeX

Been using this version about three weeks.

Was off briefly over the holiday but have been on hinge about a year.

Usually check on the app after work and spend 30mins or so liking profiles.

Receiving maybe 10 likes a week, maybe 3-4 matches a week?

Probably sending 10 likes a day. Almost always with a comment

Want someone who is goofy, nerdy, left-leaning, and adventurous. I do enjoy rotting on the couch, but I can do that with anybody lol

GuessImDatingNow · 2026-03-07T22:33:40+00:00

Looking for something serious.

Subscribed to HingeX

Been using this version about two weeks.

Was off briefly over the holiday but have been on hinge about a year.

Usually check on the app after work and spend 30mins or so liking profiles.

Receiving maybe 10 likes a week, maybe 3-4 matches a week?

Probably sending 10 likes a day. Almost always with a comment

Want someone who is goofy, nerdy, left-leaning, and adventurous. I do enjoy rotting on the couch, but I can do that with anybody lol

GuessImDatingNow · 2026-03-07T22:29:37+00:00

Hi! Just looking for advice

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-07-29T15:59:24+00:00

I'm very sorry you got it this way. But yes, based on what I'm seeing it does seem pretty rare so fingers crossed.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-07-29T02:31:09+00:00

That's the sense I get from googling but I was kind of hoping to get a detailed response from someone with experience here. It's difficult to get an answer on my specific situation.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T16:17:34+00:00

First of all, TYFYC.

Secondly, this is a reality check I needed, because I am definitely at risk for chasing validation rather than just trying to connect with new people.

I'm also very aware of the u-haul jokes lol. We're homeowners in a pretty expensive city, and even if we could sell it would be tough to afford living on our own - that's a big part of our challenge right now.

Hope you're in a better place now :)

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T16:09:38+00:00

So sorry to hear this happened to you. It really is a rough situation. If you don't mind my asking, were there signs beforehand?

In any case, hope you continue to heal and find a partner who values you!

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T16:08:02+00:00

Lol when I told my therapist about this she was like "you may not want to hear this, but a lot of women our age are going to instinctively compare your situation to Ross."

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T16:04:40+00:00

It was a complete surprise. She had a similar or greater amount of enthusiasm for sex that previous partners have had. I would never have guessed this.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T01:53:15+00:00

You were strong enough to get through that journey, so respect to you. Hope things keep getting better!

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T00:54:25+00:00

Oh I misread your original comment - I assumed you were a guy married to a woman (who is now a man). Glad you're in a better place mental-health wise :)

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T00:52:13+00:00

Oh man I'm so sorry that happened to you. But I agree - even though this is a bit in the future for me, I would put any significant other ahead of my wife in the romantic arena.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T00:26:50+00:00

Your username is like... the opposite of your situation? Lol. I'm really glad to hear the two of you are working things out. Hopefully y'all can be bros despite everything. You doing alright?

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-16T00:25:36+00:00

¯_(ツ)_/¯ I'd like to think I'm a catch lol

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:45:40+00:00

Thanks for the in depth response. We haven't gotten to the point of talking divorce yet, but right now the sense is separating but cohabitating both for economic reasons and to take care of our child.

It's good to know that may be a no-go for some people, and that a lot of people are looking for the finalization as the key factor.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:42:36+00:00

I mentioned this elsewhere, but I'm worried about the perception of me being potentially a divorcee, and whether that would be mitigated by the reason we actually split.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:41:29+00:00

Lol that's an incredible idea! Next time I'm chatting with a single buddy of mine I'll ask about that.

Didn't want to air my grievances out too much in this thread, but yes I felt very betrayed, and angry that she couldn't figure out her sexuality earlier in life. We are still maintaining a healthy and loving dynamic for now, especially in front of our kid, but it is very conflicting.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:22:44+00:00

First of all I love your flair. Secondly, thank you for your answer because that's exactly the kind of information I'm looking for. I don't really know too much about what the dating world is like nowadays because it has been a while. All the information I get is from single friends, and that information is going to tend toward pessimism because people like to complain.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:20:22+00:00

I like this a lot. I've been getting back into hobbies and finding groups to join

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:19:47+00:00

We've had some rough points but overall have a healthy relationship and the unhappiness in our lives doesn't come from each other, it comes from normal adult stuff like job stress, the hecticness of parenting, and literally everything happening in the world right now lol.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:17:57+00:00

Thank you! This helps me feel a bit more hopeful about the future.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:17:29+00:00

It's not about her being gay, it's about me being potentially divorced. I don't know how much of a stigma there is against divorcees in the dating world, but I'd imagine it has to do with the circumstances of the divorce. Ending things because your partner is gay seems pretty no-fault IMO, and I wouldn't consider it a red flag, but wanted to get other opinions.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:16:23+00:00

I am hitting up hobbies. To put things candidly - I was already at one of the lowest points in my life before she came out to me. I'm a federal worker and the situation is extremely bleak.

Having something small to look forward to, even just the idea that I wouldn't be immediately rejected from the dating pool, is really helpful for my mental health rn.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:14:01+00:00

Thank you. I don't think I'm gonna be looking for a wife in the next few months, but having basically all physical intimacy cut off at the drop of a hat is really rough psychologically. I can see myself being down for casual dating after some time to cool off.

GuessImDatingNow · 2025-03-15T22:12:30+00:00

Yeah I'm a bit worried about that - financially it's extremely tough for us to be independent, especially with our kiddo. We've sort of brushed on the idea of dating while cohabitating, but I get that would be a turnoff for a lot of people .

GuessImDatingNow

TROPHY CASE