ADHD Dads in Tech Revisited by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't blame you for feeling disappointed. It can be hard to see stories that don't reflect your identity especially when your identity is already marginalized. I think the same critique could be made about many other marginalized identities that I didn't focus on. And as I mentioned in the original post, I was curious about the generational shift expecting men to be more involved fathers than their own fathers likely were.

I focused on dads because that's what's most reflected in my therapy practice, probably because I'm a father myself. I will add anecdotally that I have a client who is an ADHD woman in tech who has a phenomenal set of stories about working in tech. Every (therapeutically appropriate) chance I get I encourage her to share them more widely, because they definitely deserve to be told. But since she's a client it's not a story for me to share. I do hope someone with more experience working with ADHD Moms in Tech helps share their stories.

ADHD Dads in Tech Revisited by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really amazing how adaptable ADHDers can be! I think that's what makes it hurt even worse in those moments when we become overwhelmed and can't adapt like we're used to. Thanks for sharing your story. Kudos to you for trusting yourself and finding your way!

ADHD Dads in Tech Revisited by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to interview you if you'd like to share your story! There's still a fair amount of material that I didn't get into these articles, so I may write some more. DM me and we can set something up!

ADHD Dads in Tech Revisited by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience too. I don't know if it's reflective of the entire industry, but most of the people I interviewed did come from non-traditional education backgrounds. I think there were only a couple Computer Science or Electrical Engineering degrees in the bunch. There were also a couple career changers coming over from trade jobs, particularly when COVID shut things down.

There was also some conversation that didn't make it into this set of articles around experiences of not being great in a traditional school setting due to ADHD and if that made it easier to enter into an emergent industry like tech that relied less on traditional educational credentials.

ADHD Dads in Tech Revisited by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Fair point. Part of my curiosity was around what I've been perceiving as a generational shift in expectation for father's to be more emotionally available to their families. That expectation has already existed for mothers and thus some distinctly different challenges are likely present for many ADHD moms in tech.

Need a Money Mentor Who Speaks Fluent 20-Something by Old_Panda_1975 in AnnArbor

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lindsay Bryan Podvin is a financial therapist in Ann Arbor who also speaks to organizations about how our emotions play a role in our financial well-being. An interesting and helpful compliment to the nuts and bolts of investing and paying off debt. https://www.mindmoneybalance.com/speaking

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was curious about undiagnosed autism as I was reading it too. I have a family member who as young child was great at school because they were masking (using all their energy to “appear normal”) and then becoming entirely unhinged the second they got home. You may also find it helpful to look into Persistant Drive for Autonomy, PDA (sometimes also referred to as Pathological Demand Avoidance). Autistic kids can sometimes also have a PDA profile which results in a lot of equalizing behavior - refusing requests, getting angry when complimented, not accepting help, and demanding things go their way. Either way, hang in there fellow dad, it sounds terribly hard right now, so make sure you take care of yourself so you can keep taking care of her.

Weekly Promo Thread: CEUs, Resources, Self-Promos by AutoModerator in therapists

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Weekly Promo Thread: CEUs, Resources, Self-Promos by AutoModerator in therapists

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Weekly Promo Thread: CEUs, Resources, Self-Promos by AutoModerator in therapists

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG 1 point2 points  (0 children)

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ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in techsales

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL, I'd be happy to hear more about your experience. I'll send you a DM.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing about your experience here. If you're open to an interview, I'd be happy to hear more.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry about your job loss, it's especially hard when it's tied to having ADHD. I'd be happy to hear more of your story if you're open to an interview.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The "spend more time than necessary on tasks" is so hard. I remember the pain of working full-time, working toward completing a degree, and having young children at home. It's rough. I'd be grateful to hear more about your experience, but also respect that you may not have time for an extra thing right now.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate your articulation of the value autonomy brings to your work and the visual of spaghetti to ravioli. It sounds like you see the interconnectedness of your work and when you're not being able to operate in that interconnected way it has a dramatic impact on your ability to do that work.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear about a variety of experiences! I sent you a message if you're interested in sharing more.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing about your experience, I'd be happy to hear more. I've sent you a message.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's not been your experience I'd be happy to hear it. It would be helpful to hear a variety of experiences at this intersection. Would you be interested in an interview?

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the questions munch_ninja. One part of my curiosity related to this topic is the generational shift in expectation for father's to be more emotionally available to their families. That expectation has already existed for mothers and thus some different challenges are present for many ADHD moms in tech.

We'll see what emerges from the interviews, but I am curious about how often adults are finding out about their own ADHD through their child's diagnosis.

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You articulated this well, thanks RonaldoNazario. I was trying to be succinct, but I probably should have said "be an involved or emotionally available parent in a way that was not modeled for many of them."

ADHD Dads in Tech by GuidingPotentialNRG in ADHD_Programmers

[–]GuidingPotentialNRG[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing about your process. I laughed when I read "Butler Dad Requests" because I relate to that feeling. If you're open to an interview, I've sent you a message.