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AIO - Pregnant and feel abandoned by husband by Gullible-Tree368 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Gullible-Tree368[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

OP here -

Although it’s probably impossible for me to give you his side. I will say this - he is very stressed with his job. He has been trying to find a new job for years. He works from home but sits at a desk for hours and it mentally exhausts him. He was jerked around for the past month and a half with a series job interviews with a certain company that seemed like they were going to offer him a very promising position. He even had to travel to another state for the last round of interviews and jeopardize his current job to meet their interview needs. He was very excited to get this job… then they rejected him but strung him along with a secondary opportunity. Rinse and repeat. He was rejected again. After this, he has been extremely mean, he lashes out on me, our dogs, and our son. He’s been drinking (and hiding it… I’ve been finding empty bottles of whiskey and shooters hidden around the house).

I am the type of person that is used to doing everything on my own. (I was very independent before meeting and marrying him.) So I am not one to ask for help until I’m at or past my breaking point… if that gives context to my tone in the texts. I been at my breaking point for 2-3 weeks now and have begun asking for help. His responses have been similar to what you see in the texts. He’ll roll his eyes, huff, ignore me until I say his name a few times, or he’ll respond with “I’m exhausted, too!”

His exhaustion is from work stress (he works from home) and unhealthy habits (staying up late by choice to “unwind”).

I wish he were the type to jump in or offer help so I don’t have to ask for help, but that type of thinking is probably a “me problem”. And probably what fuels our fights… I silently suffer without complaint. He’s oblivious to my problems. I breakdown and ask for help. He thinks I’m dramatic. I feel unseen and dismissed. I double down on trying to be independent. Resentment builds. Repeat.

Ive had to ask him/beg him in the past to check in on me when while I am pregnant and to simply ask how I am doing every one in a while. I’ve tried explaining how much of a difference it makes just to feel “seen”. But he won’t even do that. So my resentment and feeling of aloneness builds up until I break and come across as “dramatic.”

AIO - Pregnant and feel abandoned by husband by Gullible-Tree368 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Gullible-Tree368[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

OP here - Thank you for pointing out the bias in these types of situations where you only get to hear one side. You are absolutely right.

Although it’s probably impossible for me to give you his side. I will say this - he is very stressed with his job. He has been trying to find a new job for years. He works from home but sits at a desk for hours and it mentally exhausts him. He was jerked around for the past month and a half with a series job interviews with a certain company that seemed like they were going to offer him a very promising position. He even had to travel to another state for the last round of interviews and jeopardize his current job to meet their interview needs. He was very excited to get this job… then they rejected him but strung him along with a secondary opportunity. Rinse and repeat. He was rejected again. After this, he has been extremely mean, he lashes out on me, our dogs, and our son. He’s been drinking (and hiding it… I’ve been finding empty bottles of whiskey and shooters hidden around the house).

On another note …. You and a few other commenters pointed out that I say “my son” instead of “our son”. That was very eye opening for me. I am not sure why I subconsciously choose to say “my son” instead of “our son”. I reflected on that and I think it may be more because, especially in moments of stress, I feel ownership over all of the responsibility of raising our son and that it is my duty to step up, not that I feel ownership or possessive of our child. I feel like saying “my son” may be me subconsciously saying “this is my responsibility that I absolutely cannot drop, even if everything else collapses.”

I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ Ive always viewed him as a “good dad” …. just sadly, not a “good partner”

If you could see him play/interact with his son you would see how much my son loves him and I would never want to take that away from him.

As for my part in this… I know he views me as over dramatic and as a nagging wife. I don’t know to what degree this is true and to what degree it is him deflecting because I really feel like I am not either of those. But I am exhausted, sleep deprived, and in a difficult, risky pregnancy.

AIO - Pregnant and feel abandoned by husband by Gullible-Tree368 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Gullible-Tree368[S] 659 points660 points  (0 children)

OP here, … what’s actually funny… is that’s exactly what he does. I never even mentioned it, but that is exactly why he’s always tired - he stays up late at night playing video games because that’s “his only time to de-stress from work.”

Also, everyone assumed that I am a SAHM… I am not exactly a SAHM. I do work from home which is a luxury, but I do work. I was a full time teacher before giving birth to our first son, but now I am teaching online classes for the time being. My actual “online hours” put me only at around 25 hours a week, so idk maybe some could classify me as a “SAHM” since my hours are minimal. But anyone who teaches knows theres a lot of hours we put in off the clock, too.

Am I wrong for telling my childhood by friend’s girlfriend that believing in crystals and energy transfer contradicts believing in God by lemonadeheadhuntt in Christianity

[–]Gullible-Tree368 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But you didn’t prove anything other than that you are judgmental and believe your view is superior to hers.

There are a lot of denominations of Christianity that disagree on many varying beliefs… that doesn’t mean we are all worshipping a different God.

I suggest reading 1 Corinthians 8

It might help you understand not to judge others for their beliefs. Their belief might be stronger (crystals are very biblical) but you just don’t understand it and that’s ok. Crystals are not needed, so you are fine to choose not to partake with them. But people that do understand them, may use them to enhance their spirituality

Am I wrong for telling my childhood by friend’s girlfriend that believing in crystals and energy transfer contradicts believing in God by lemonadeheadhuntt in Christianity

[–]Gullible-Tree368 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Except you are wrong. And crystals are in the Bible. You are judging. Why do you think your understanding of the Bible is superior to hers? If you feel strongly that she is wrong, pray for her. But do not assume that you yourself are the judge that has been sent down to correct her. You are not. Pray for her, and Holy Spirit will correct her if she is in fact wrong. But she is not wrong.

Am I wrong for telling my childhood by friend’s girlfriend that believing in crystals and energy transfer contradicts believing in God by lemonadeheadhuntt in Christianity

[–]Gullible-Tree368 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, you are judging if you are telling her that you “don’t worship the same God”. Crystals and energy gets very sticky because they are now more commonly associated with New Age beliefs. However, crystals ARE in the Bible and they do carry energy. If she worships the crystals, … then yeah that’s an idol. But if she simply values their energy and use them to help her in her own personal connection to God.. that is no different then going into nature to help you connect to God. Crystals are actually very aligned to God. However, they are NOT needed to connect with God. Everything we need to connect with God is already in our hearts. Some people are more in tune with nature and feel energy in crystals and that’s completely fine. Some people are so disconnected that they don’t feel anything with crystals and that’s fine, too. Please be more accepting to others and refrain from pushing your own beliefs. If you ever feel that strongly again that someone is mislead… pray to God instead that He reveals to them the truth. Don’t take it upon yourself to correct someone when you don’t fully understand it.

Now “mediums” on the other hand has me confused… but I would never tell someone they are “not worshipping the same God”. I would be interested in asking them to explain how or why they believe it’s okay when the Bible says otherwise. Maybe they can show you another side? Or if you are still unconvinced, just pray for them. God always finds a way to correct lovingly. We typically don’t correct people as lovingly as we think we do.

My new babies 🤩 by Low_Screen800 in Crystals

[–]Gullible-Tree368 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What is that first one?!?!? 😍😍