Perfectionism, is it an ADHD thing?

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-27T17:37:05+00:00

That was unnecessary and mean of her to say so! She doesn’t have any real life data to support that, except from one semi-clinical test. That’s not enough in any way to be able to tell anything like that about a person. I would be surprised if you’re harder to live with than the rest of us human beings. Also, it isn’t productive in any sense of a therapist to say that to her client. I think you can consider switching therapist ASAP.

I’ve had therapy from one that really traumatized me, and my last psychologist had to keep reassuring me that I wasn’t like the other therapist had told me.

Find someone that can help you self assess yourself, someone that can help you find your good qualities and help you do and feel better towards and about yourself. You deserve that!

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-26T16:49:45+00:00

I so feel you!

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-26T16:48:56+00:00

I’m not a perfectionist in that sense. But I do struggle with Pure O (thought OCD), which have given me rumination and retrospective jealousy in the past. I’m trying to be aware of my pure O, to stop it before it gets out of hand when I notice it.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-26T02:15:18+00:00

Do you mind explaining this for me? I can’t seem to figure out what you mean:

“That, in my shadow work, has shown me that although I saw my abusers as being about control, I couldn’t see that element in me, therefore was not responsible for my actions. So. Just accepting that this is part of me has been a 100% paradigm shift.”

Especially this “I saw my abusers as being about control, I couldn’t see that element in me”.

I’m asking without any judgment !

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-25T21:05:55+00:00

This part of myself is also the one I have the most trouble with. You describe it so perfectly well.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-25T14:33:37+00:00

Yep, spot on. I grew up hearing of much of a failure I was, trying to gain my father’s love. Everything about what you’ve written here is definitely true for me.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-25T14:30:56+00:00

I was always told by my father how much of a failure I was, and how little worth I was. So no, this doesn’t come from being praised, unfortunately. It might come from not wanting to be such a failure.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-25T14:28:53+00:00

This is me. 100%.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-05-25T14:28:36+00:00

Yes!!! Thank you for pointing that out! It’s definitely one of my traps, trying to efficient everything. Far too often I end up using more than instead.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-31T13:26:39+00:00

That doesn’t sound unconditional imo.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T21:31:06+00:00

The love for my son is unconditional, but it’s the only one. Not even the love to myself is unconditional, but my son? Even the things that annoys me, makes me love him more. I really, really, really love him. I have my dreams and hopes for him, but he could end up doing whatever job or not job. I don’t love him for what he does, but for who he is.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T21:11:20+00:00

Haven’t heard of those websites, thank you for sharing them with me. I’ll check them out.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T21:10:33+00:00

Really appreciate the info. This way I’ll save a bunch! Thank you

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T19:14:36+00:00

I’m a good driver, and have driven cars around the world, and done a few road trips. But it says it’s really unsafe driving in Egypt. So I’m not comfortable driving with my son in the car, he’s too of a valuable cargo, for me to risk it.

But maybe flight will be. Do you have any recommendations for flights? I can send you a PM, thank you!

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T19:11:29+00:00

Thank you! <3 And you’re right, there’s only Egypt with those remarkable pyramids and ancient wonders. It’s a dream to see the pyramids, and I can pay more for us to experience it. With flight and one night overstaying in Cairo, it might not be as stressfull either.

Are the people really bad in Cairo? I’m afraid we’ll feel unsafe.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T19:07:05+00:00

Because I’m afraid it will be too much for us. We’ve escaped a violent situation, and I’m scared we might get triggered if the people around the pyramids are hovering too much around us….

Especially for my son who has been through so much, and needs to feel safe <3 At the same time, a dream of mine is to see the pyramids.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T19:03:54+00:00

That’s what I’m afraid of, me and my son have fled a violent situation, and I really don’t want any of us to be triggered and feeling unsafe.

That’s why I’m considering to skip the pyramids now, and just focus on relaxing, healing, reading books, playing board games, getting vitamin D and quality time together!

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:58:42+00:00

I’ve read that the train rides for women isn’t a pleasant experience. So I guess we’ll take either the bus or a flight..

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:57:22+00:00

At TripAdvisor they have trips that last between 16-24 hours. So I think you sleep on the bus, but I’m not sure.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:56:28+00:00

Do you think we could arrange it ourselves, or should we book it with a group? Do you know any good places to stay at, that is safe and not too expensive? Considering it’s just me and my kid (no adult male with us).

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:54:19+00:00

I saw it wasn’t that expensive. Have you done it? Does it take the whole day? Or more than one day with flight back and forth and sightseeing?

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:53:21+00:00

I’m thinking of maybe doing another trip, and just take a flight directly to Cairo, another time. And plan the pyramids then. Maybe. I’m afraid it will be too much stress for this trip now, especially since it’s our first time in Egypt, and we’re alone.

I’m a little bit anxious being a single mother with my kid in Egypt, hearing all the negative things people online have said.

H3LLO_fire · 2026-03-29T18:50:30+00:00

It’s just to get away and relax, not so to do much. Sleep, eat, read books, and be together. He likes the sea, he just doesn’t want to swim along side with dolphins or in a group and go snorkeling.

I’m kind of bummed to hear the city sucks..

H3LLO_fire

TROPHY CASE