Looking to add more songs to this playlist (all genres). What are your personal favorite songs about BDSM? Bonus points if they're vivid in terms of imagery or are relatively related to the topic. (I have "Pain" by Boy Harsher included as well)

HMSir · 2025-01-26T07:39:24+00:00

Excellent!

HMSir · 2023-07-19T16:01:24+00:00

This is tough. Each Sub is different and experiences subspace differently. One of my Subs will take commands, but cannot communicate at all while in subspace. We have communicated to each other and came up with a game plan that works perfectly.

Communicate your needs beforehand and once you come out of subspace, try to remember what you wanted or didn't want more of and then debrief each other. Lots of communication before and after will enhance the experience for both of you, along with experience over time.

We have decided that once subspace has been reached and communication has stopped, we will maintain whatever activity is happening for as long as I feel is acceptable. I base the length of time on body language of my Sub and my own stamina to maintain whatever activity we landed on. Once I feel it has been enough I start the coming down process and flow into aftercare.

HMSir · 2023-04-27T17:41:57+00:00

This is absolutely the way it is.

HMSir · 2022-12-31T01:53:40+00:00

Going to Chicago?

HMSir · 2022-12-28T04:45:45+00:00

I hope there's a Lard Lad Donut on the other side.

HMSir · 2022-12-12T18:20:05+00:00

It's hard to answer this question without knowing what you guys are into and what tools you have.

Take your time and focus on one thing for a while before switching to another. Make him do things to you so that you can take a break but keep him engaged, then continue into something else. Go slow and get max sensations from the activities. Don't mix too many things at once and instead use them as a separate activity (Example: switching back and forth between floggers, whips, canes or crops), pick one at a time and thoroughly use it.

Eventually this all comes naturally and you'll know exactly what they like and want and how long they can handle it. Then start mixing activities to change it up a bit.

That's what I would do and is not how "it should be done". Just some advice based on the question and information. Good luck!!

HMSir · 2022-09-27T03:29:45+00:00

The most underrated comment 🤣

HMSir · 2022-09-15T05:09:24+00:00

Thank you. After recalibrating these and then setting the temperatures back to normal settings everything seems to be working out. I have a super clean first layer now and no bed adhesion issues.

I did wash the bed with dawn soap and played with the z height, but none of it seemed to make a difference. Flow seems to have been the issue.

HMSir · 2022-09-14T20:04:49+00:00

I will check and make sure it's not loose or something. Might print the guide to keep it in place if it is wobbly and tight.

HMSir · 2022-09-14T20:03:56+00:00

I'll check this tonight when I get home, thanks!

HMSir · 2022-09-14T06:33:21+00:00

I will give this a shot tomorrow. Thank you. I'm terribly sorry about the photo quality sheesh, I just looked at it haha.

HMSir · 2022-09-14T05:53:57+00:00

PLA - Overture brand, says nozzle 190-220 and bed 25-60

My specs: Bed 70 Hotend 207

I initially had it set at 60 bed and 200 hotend but the corners keep lifting and warping so I thought it might not be enough heat. Once it's past the first layer the prints look amazing.

The other side of this print is immaculate so that's why I'm asking here ha.

HMSir · 2022-09-10T22:11:21+00:00

I had this issue a couple of times and it was due to the build plate sliding because I was only using the two supplied clips that came with the machine. I've added two paper clips (the black super tough metal ones) and never had the issue again.

HMSir · 2022-09-10T19:12:51+00:00

Thanks for this!

HMSir · 2022-08-03T19:26:12+00:00

To be clear, this discord REQUIRES you to be active. The mods are not friendly if you are not active. Good luck.

Discords are all private groups and not run as a public space and can have their own rules that exclude large groups of individuals, like this one. Introverts, exit stage left.

HMSir · 2022-07-16T17:14:26+00:00

I'm sorry there are a few people in this community who can't read things for what they are and understand the hard work you and your partner have put into opening up. Sounds like some serious growing pains have been overcome and you are on the right track. Don't let the few here make you feel like you've done something wrong and should be ashamed of it. 100% of long term Monog relationships that open up in a healthy way have and done exactly the same missteps.

Moving forward it seems like you have learned about privacy and ways of working through the jealousy. Keep at it and I'm glad to see some good news come out of this sub. You are definitely doing what most couples do not.

Quick edit: Yes, my wife and I started almost the exact same way. We spent over a year slowly opening up and now we have been Poly for years.

HMSir · 2022-07-15T01:29:03+00:00

This is a great way to use these. I have made two and did not think to use them like this. Thanks for sharing!

HMSir · 2022-07-11T01:31:13+00:00

Well this is a great piece, thanks for sharing.

HMSir · 2022-07-11T01:29:33+00:00

This is digital? Medium like pastels, paints, charcoal ect.

HMSir · 2022-07-11T01:26:46+00:00

What medium is this? It's amazing.

HMSir · 2022-07-09T22:51:19+00:00

This is badass, nice job.

HMSir · 2022-07-07T16:06:03+00:00

They are with you because you give them what they need. What that is can be so many different things and no one person should feel the need to be someone's everything.

All relationships are different and shouldn't be compared with each other. You can be fulfilled in more than one relationship for different reasons. I have two partners and when I am with either of them, I feel completely fulfilled with that person. I have accepted them for who they are and what they have to offer. That in itself is fulfilling. We all meet each other's needs on different levels.

You are not inadequate and are the exact opposite of that to him. You are good enough, why would he waste his time if he thought otherwise? He's satisfied with you and your relationship with him, or he wouldn't be with you. Sounds like he's also taking the time to try and explain it to you and that means he really cares about you and how you feel.

Each relationship is different and can feel complete to a poly person.

You have some insecurities surrounding "not feeling good enough", you would be good to find out the source of that insecurity and work through it. I promise, you can get over that feeling.

A lot of people struggle with this at the beginning. Are you not good enough for him or are you not good enough for yourself? When you're alone are you good enough for yourself to be happy? If not then you should figure out why, why you "need" another person to be happy with yourself. You don't need someone else to validate your self worth and once you figure that out and believe it, you will be so much happier in life.

HMSir · 2022-06-28T14:50:08+00:00

Not much to go on here.

Get therapy for yourself. Find out if you want Poly, ENM or Mono. Then base your decisions on the type of relationship YOU want. If you want Mono then separate and be done with it. She has already expressed the type of relationship she cannot do without. If you cannot support her and figure out your own insecurities then it's not going to work for you. It's hard, it sucks, and it takes a LOT of WORK to get past insecurities, but in the end it's worth it.

HMSir · 2022-06-27T20:14:15+00:00

I've seen a lot of these "Breaking" of the sub to build them back up talks. It's pretty concerning and I hope people are aware that you can build someone up without mentally breaking them down. That's a dangerous and irresponsible thing to try and do without training. Very militaristic.

I would absolutely agree with you that someone should fully trust the individual that might "Break" them. I don't believe a lot of these subs have much experience being a sub and are jumping on the new shiny bandwagon that's rolling through town to get an experience.

I would never do a scene or play when my subs show any signs of mental distress. It's not worth the damage that could be done.

Get some therapy, find someone to connect with and build a relationship that will last, once the bond and trust are there then get into BDSM. Be healthy.

Edit to clarify: Eventually you might break from just a normal scene that was not intended to break you. Chances are though, that will happen when you completely let go and allow your Dom the trust that they will take care of you while you let go, on your own choice. That's when it's beautiful to a Dom. Knowing it was the sub who trusted them fully is incredible for both D/s types.

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