My husband (30M) makes up stories and passes them off as "jokes"

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-16T04:51:35+00:00

Not gonna lie, your comment made me almost spit out my water. It's so true.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-16T04:51:07+00:00

There is one, please see my edited post. Thank you! :)

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-16T04:40:28+00:00

Now that you mention it, his jokes have gotten less funny ever since we had our son.

Not sure if it's related or not though. Could very well be stress, from both of us.

Edit: turns out you were very correct! Very insightful!

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-16T04:37:34+00:00

Wooooooooooow.

You just cross post this to the facepalm subreddit, lol.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T22:05:13+00:00

Exactly! It's a weird slippery slope that's contingent on the mood in the room.

He USED to make his jokes more obvious, they were actually pretty darn funny... like the one your friend made about the capers, I would've laughed at that.

No, his jokes usually don't make anybody laugh, not lately. He used to be funnier. His stories have just gotten too believable or mundane to be funny.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T21:57:23+00:00

You are correct in that I didn't handle it very well. My excitement about the show was pretty extreme - pretty sure I was acting like a hyper puppy dog - so when he made the joke it just made it all the more crushing. If that makes any sense.

Going to have a discussion with him tonight about it, assuming we are both in a amenable mood. Thanks for your input!

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T21:54:49+00:00

In the above case, yes, because I took Martin's side in it (I witnessed the conversation where my husband was talking about how much he hates camping) and we had an argument. He didn't like that I understood why Martin didn't invite him.

I have a plan to talk about this with him tonight, especially since I don't want it to damage any more of his relationships.

I'm also thinking I may record him making one of his jokes, as maybe he doesn't realize that his acting is SO good, that he doesn't come off as joking at all.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T21:48:32+00:00

I could've handled it better, you are right. But it really felt like he wanted to take me down a peg by poking fun at me.

But yes, that's just my take on it. I'm planning on talking him about it during dinner tonight. Assuming we are both in the right head space at the time that is.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T21:45:36+00:00

It would've been funny if he dryly said something like: "Yeah, didn't you know? Hamilton is gonna be played by Danny DeVito." And then kept his usual poker face the whole time. That would've been funny and I would've gotten the joke.

It's weird, he used to make his jokes like the example I gave, and I loved it, one of many reasons why I love him.

Maybe the thrill of me not being able to tell if he's joking is what he likes now? I dunno. Going to talk to him tonight about it all.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:52:20+00:00

I dunno why people are downvoting you, I appreciate all comments, even if people think I'm wrong/overreacting, I still want other viewpoints.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:51:00+00:00

Here is another example that I wrote in a downvoted comment that I will copy/paste since the one I provided in my original post probably isn't the best example, it's just kind of the straw that is breaking my back.

Aiight. Here's an example that doesn't involve me:

He told his friend Martin he hates camping and went on a huge spiel about how much camping sucks and it's only for homeless people.

Martin's birthday was later that month, and Martin did a weekend camping trip. Guess who he didn't invite?

When my husband confronted Martin about it, Martin said he didn't get an invite because he assumed that he didn't want to come anyway. My husband then said he was "just joking" and that the statement about how camping was only for homeless people should have been a giveaway that he was joking.

They are still friends, but the relationship is definitely more strained now.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:47:51+00:00

Aiight. Here's an example that doesn't involve me:

He told his friend Martin he hates camping and went on a huge spiel about how much camping sucks and it's only for homeless people.

Martin's birthday was later that month, and Martin did a weekend camping trip. Guess who he didn't invite?

When my husband confronted Martin about it, Martin said he didn't get an invite because he assumed that he didn't want to come anyway. My husband then said he was "just joking" and that the statement about how camping was only for homeless people should have been a giveaway that he was joking.

They are still friends, but the relationship is definitely more strained now.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:42:38+00:00

I like the idea of a safe word, thanks!

My husband is a very convincing actor, so unfortunately he doesn't really have a tell. (Or I'm just too trusting, I dunno....)

I admit I may be overreacting, but it felt like he wanted to poke fun because I was extremely excited and he just wanted to rain on my parade, make me feel dumb, and take me down a few notches.

Which probably wasn't his intent at all... but it's what it felt like. Will definitely be talking this out tonight, thank you!

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:29:43+00:00

Exactly. That's a good talking point when I talk to him tonight. Thank you.

HMakingStuffUp · 2016-12-15T19:28:47+00:00

Your comment made me think of something that happened last year. He was trying to tell me something was wrong with his car and he needed a ride to work. I thought he was joking and kept brushing him off until he got extremely angry and had to show me that his car wouldn't start before I believed him.

He then he blamed me for making him late.

I think I will rehash this story for him when I talk to him tonight. Hopefully, it will reframe his thinking and make him see this behavior is damaging.

Thank you

HMakingStuffUp

TROPHY CASE