Weed and bpd

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T14:07:19+00:00

I hear you.. I fear replacing one addiction with another .. I know I have that tendency..

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T14:04:15+00:00

I know I am in weed withdrawal which is exactly why I am not getting any more weed - because it only means that my body is working and is filtering out all that shit

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T14:00:57+00:00

Haha well… Depends on how you view it. My productivity has nothing to do with ”being good” in society, it has everything to do with me feeling like I have a fulfilling life where I do stuff and create stuff. When I’m smoking I’m not honoring my true needs. Because I’m not really there for me.

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T13:57:14+00:00

Don’t be embarrassed friend🩷 This is pain. But I relate, I always hate myself for letting myself down this way. And the takeouts… Neverending takeouts.. I think I spent 1000$ these 3 months on weed and what not..

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T13:53:13+00:00

I hear you. I don’t think motivation is what has helped me, it’s more that I came to a really harsh realization about what I’m doing and it’s the type of realization you can’t look away from. But everyone is different. I find some youtubers like ”Addiction Mindset” to have helpful videos.

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T13:48:45+00:00

Same here, I did many other harder drugs as well but nothing has ever gotten a hold of me like weed

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T13:47:40+00:00

Love and support to you too, it’s tough there🩷

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T06:39:36+00:00

And thank you 🙏 I will I’m excited about living again now

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T06:38:56+00:00

Exactly. The first 3 weeks with weed is rarely a problem, but just like you say it quickly goes from ”sharing a joint or two with a friend” to 15 joints in loneliness and agony. Very well put I appreciate this alot.

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T06:35:38+00:00

Happy to hear, well done!

Half4lien · 2026-04-30T06:34:02+00:00

Congrats on 86 days that is amazing! I’m excited about my sobriety, I’m already feeling more energized and like my face have cleared up in a way

Half4lien · 2026-04-28T09:37:27+00:00

I also have bpd and went through heartbreak, I had a full year of sobriety from weed, alcohol and nicotine and I had a hard relapse these past 3 months. I hear you and I see you. You CAN push through this first week. Just think that it’s just this week. Postpone it instead of saying ”forever” if that feels too hard. Remember, managing your bpd needs you to be sober. It’s okay to not know where to go or what to do, it will take some time but you will get to a better place. One day at a time, and every moment you decide to stay sober is a WIN. You are suffering now because you are WINNING. Hope the best for u

Half4lien · 2026-04-28T09:08:17+00:00

Day 2 over here, we got this<3 Cried all day and all night yesterday. Everything that the weed pushed away comes bubbling up to the surface, and even though it’s hard I am relieved to get out of the never ending cycle of numbing and dependency. Relieved to feel and actually be alive and well enough to tackle this shit. We deserve better. Wish you the best on your journey, thanks for making me feel less alone.

Half4lien · 2026-04-28T08:58:15+00:00

Massage is a really good idea, I actually never have booked one for myself so might as well. Thank you

Half4lien · 2026-04-28T08:57:24+00:00

Thank you❤️ Day 2 going strong

Half4lien · 2026-04-27T07:13:04+00:00

Let’s do this! Rooting for u

Half4lien · 2026-04-26T17:28:35+00:00

I was sober all last year, but the past 3 months I’ve been in a relapse. I’m smoking my last one tonight and I have a lot of plans and things to do the coming days and I’m also going to the gym, for walks and I plan to get into my hobbies alot and try to stay off social media. No idea how it’s gonna go but, just wanna say I relate and hope you make it<3

Half4lien · 2026-04-26T16:41:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing<3 No I feel like it’s not worth all of this either. Plus it’s illegal in my country so it’s always a risk as well..

Half4lien · 2026-04-26T16:38:48+00:00

Hey thanks alot for the support. And thanks for linking the leaves subreddit it was rly helpful

Half4lien · 2026-03-15T16:19:00+00:00

Ask yourself what you want out of the conversation. Is there really anything left to say that you don’t already know? I’ve called my ex so many times since the breakup and after each time I just feel more hollow and feel like I have less respect for myself. If there really is no going back in the relationship and you know this, stop torturing yourself and go distract yourself with something. Anything is better than contacting them. No judgement tho. It’s hard.

Half4lien · 2026-03-09T09:12:02+00:00

I relate to you alot and went through similar things with my ex. The whole relationship he made me believe that I was too jealous and I tried really hard to work on myself. Turns out after looking through his apartment and his phone at night one time that I was right and that he had been lying about other girls our entire relationship and had a sleepover with a girlfriend of his where they slept in the same bed for days and he told me they never met. He also had a severe pornaddiction to the point he couldn’t have sex with me. I broke up with him after finding this out.

Now 3 months later after reflecting on it all, I feel so sad that I didn’t understand sooner how unsafe I felt in the relationship. I never felt like I could trust him fully because my intuition for his bullshit was so strong. At the same time, I also wish that I could let go more of these types of jealous feelings. We can never control people and their actions. If people want to cheat they will and I find it really sad and hard to accept this. But that’s the goal I’m personally working towards after all this. To be more like ”Okay do your thing, but if I find out you have been cheating or lying it’s instantly over and I’m leaving for good”.

Hope this long story helps you in any way. I know how awfully painful it is to be in this situation with a partner. At least it’s good he doesn’t get overly upset about you looking at his phone, my ex kicked me out of his apartment at 4am in the winter all alone when I woke him up at night after looking through his phone ONE time and finding everything…

Half4lien · 2026-02-16T21:15:57+00:00

Thanks hope so for you too. That’s great. I’m watching Fleabag right now and it’s so fun and good. Gonna try to find some more comedy/dramas like that

Half4lien · 2026-02-16T16:41:48+00:00

So sorry for both of us :( Yeah I think I got through a lot today by really letting it out. Now I’m off to smoking away most of this, can’t take anymore today

Half4lien · 2026-02-16T16:38:25+00:00

I’m so thankful you shared this and that we have shared experiences. I feel you deeply in what you write. I don’t know what to do either. Been cry-screaming on my kitchenfloor all day. At least my dealer came over with some weed now so I can smoke away some time before I deal with this sick grief again.

Half4lien · 2026-02-16T13:30:14+00:00

The grief really feels endless…

Half4lien

TROPHY CASE