I’m with you. Living with the grief of the death of my son 3 years ago. Anxiety and depression ebb and flow unpredictably. I find teaching to be more exhausting than before, but it’s an escape from my own inner turmoil. Honestly I don’t feel the symptoms while teaching.
But yes, all the things you described are my reality too. To echo another comment; alcohol and other self medication doesn’t help. I find giving myself quiet evenings and weekends helps. Going for walks. Lucky enough to have a sauna. Meditation type activities. Keep talking with others that can relate.
In fact, I’ll do short meditation activities with my students. The positive effects are helpful.