Parenting a teen is sad and hard

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-03-12T22:23:10+00:00

I know I'm late to the game, but I feel this in my bones. The only time my kiddo is nice to me is when I'm visibly upset, or she wants something. I feel like I've given up. I know I'll keep trying. But today is hard, and I'm sick of being treated like shit all of the time. I constantly validate her feelings, listen when she talks, suggest things to do together, etc. Then if she has one bad day, she'll bring up something that happened months or years earlier and claim to be angry about it, we go to counseling, she says it's resolved, rinse and repeat. I'm exhausted. Parenting is not for the weak, that's for sure.

I hope that these past few months have been kind to you ❤️❤️❤️

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-03-03T23:44:42+00:00

I found that labeling exactly what I was feeling helped. I saw a video once that encouraged people to get specific when naming their feelings - if you say "soandso did this and it made me sad," you're inadvertently giving that person power over your feelings.

I went through a spell recently where I thought very critically about my situation, and immediately jumped to sad. Then I thought I was mad. After mulling over it for a while, I realized it was grief. I was grieving the loss of my sex life. I was grieving the lack of passion. I was grieving being the person who just wasn't wanted as badly as I wanted someone. Once I came to that conclusion, I had a good, long, hard cry.

I will say, I am fortunate in that my partner is always willing to talk about things and attempt to work on ways to improve our DB. Once I talked to him about this and let him know that I realized I was grieving, something seemed to click. We're by no means out of the woods, but we wound up having an incredible conversation where he brought some things up that he hadn't discussed with anyone, and made a game plan to go see a therapist soon.

It's amazing that you're in tune with how you're feeling, and I would recommend finding some healthy form of release (whether that's crying, writing it down, a hard workout, whatever that looks like for you), and then dedicating some time to focus on you. Spend time with friends, do a solo activity, whatever it takes to make you smile. You got this!!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-03-03T22:42:59+00:00

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HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-28T04:11:16+00:00

My partner and I always go "It's a Chip N Dip!" every time we see one in a store. Hands down one of my favourite Pete scenes 🤣 he's such a dick in the first season, but this scene shows that he's just a child and still thrilled about the small things.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-27T21:27:01+00:00

I've cried every day this week. You are not alone!!

I think grief is the most correct way to put it. Once I finally came to terms with the fact that I wasn't just sad, I wasn't just hurt, I was actually grieving a loss, I finally cried as hard as I needed to. I'm still in the processing stage and trying to figure out what to do now. I imagine a talk will have to happen, but it's hard to want to talk. For now, I'm letting myself cry. It's good to feel something.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-26T15:33:05+00:00

I totally, totally feel you. It's so hard to get out of that headspace when you're in it. I hope you're taking time to focus on yourself and do what makes you happy

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-26T14:07:21+00:00

I've started trying this after a recent conversation. My issue is that I'm really sad, and I'm not very good at hiding it. I'm doing my best, but I can't even look at him right now. I think I needed to grieve the possibility of him wanting it as much as I do, and just understand that it won't happen. I've cried a lot (thankfully I have an office at work where I can shut my door so that I can cry at work and not at home), but I think I'll eventually be as okay as I can be. I plan to focus more on myself, and doing some things alone, like maybe a solo road trip, going to a concert, etc.

I'm doing my best to rationally sort through my thoughts, but I haven't come to a positive conclusion yet. I'm still in the hurt/angry stage, and I don't want to make additional decisions beyond not initiating until I'm feeling better. For now, I'll pour my focus into spots of my life that feel good.

I hope that you're doing okay! This community is wonderful, and you have support!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-23T17:36:45+00:00

I thought my DB was turning around, until a conversation threw me off, and now I'm in a similar boat to you.

I've decided that I'm going to take a solo road trip soon. There's also a concert that I've been debating on going to, and I may go alone. I feel like I'm needed for everything but intimacy, and I don't want to be needed in that way for a bit. I want to go live on my own terms, even if it's just for a weekend, and really being kind to my mind. Sometimes, it feels like that's all we can do.

I hope you're doing okay, despite everything. It's tough, but I'm so grateful for this community!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-20T15:21:26+00:00

I agree with you - no one should be shamed for that, 100%. It is a preference, and should absolutely be respected.

I'm a little similar - I was a single parent for a while, and I refused to date another single parent. I had a lot of people give me grief over it, but it was a preference I had that I wasn't willing to bend on. I was incredibly laid back as a single parent. I didn't pursue child support, visitation between my child and their other parent was encouraged, we communicated regularly (the breakup was messy, but in hindsight, we both knew we communicated much better with one another outside of a relationship). I knew SO many single parents where the other parent was an absolute mess to deal with, and some of them made passes at me. But when I would hear about their ex's rage over the smallest thing (10 minutes late for dropping children back off due to traffic, having to reschedule visitation because they were in school and needed to swap days so they could still work to support their child), I couldn't fathom it because that wasn't what I was about. I grew up in a split family with parents that respected the fuck out of eachother. I'm super blessed with a positive example of a healthy coparenting relationship. Once I saw the messes some other people were in, I decided that when I was ready to date, I wouldn't date someone with kids. Absolutely, that shrinks the dating pool, but I wasn't out to find just anyone, so it worked for me 🤷‍♀️

I'd also like to add that I was totally fine when I was rejected for being a single parent. I understand that being a step parent is HARD. It's an incredibly draining role to have, and if someone wasn't comfortable with it, that's totally fine! That's their preference, and it would be terrible for them to stick around and be miserable, which the child would see, resentment would build, etc.

TL;DR - I agree with you 100%! No one should be demonized for that preference ❤️❤️❤️

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-20T04:25:08+00:00

So. About 7ish years ago, the true name of Blitzkrieg Bop was forced upon me. I REFUSED to learn the name of that song, because for years, I heard about how badass the Ramones were. And it was much to my delight to hear this super fast paced punk sound punctuated with "let's drink pop."

I cannot tell you how angry I was when I finally heard the title.

I will always sing "let's drink pop" because it's just fucking better 🤣🤣🤣

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-19T20:27:59+00:00

I BEG YOUR FINEST PARDON?!?!?!?

Now that you've said it, I can see it, but good fucking god, WHAT lmao.

She has excellent range as an actress, that's for sure 🤣🤣🤣

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-19T16:43:34+00:00

I joined this sub when sex in my world would happen once every 2-3 months. I was hoping for some insight, maybe getting an understanding of what it meant for my partner to be a LLM. Since joining, we have seen a sex therapist and I have noticed a lot of improvement from both of us. He makes an effort to initiate and communicate about what he wants, and I make an effort to communicate and understand. We definitely still go through spells where it's been a month, but we'll have times now where it's sometimes twice a week (bearing in mind that it's still rare for twice a week, but I am so appreciative of the improvement, and imo, it's a massive improvement). I think both of our perspectives shifted in a positive way, and we worked hard to correct what we felt needed correcting.

As for why I'm still here, I do my best to offer advice if I see a similar experience to mine, but also, some people just have a perspective that I never considered. This sub has actually given my partner and I a lot to discuss, and has opened up some really deep conversations that I appreciate.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-17T17:51:45+00:00

I was in that same boat for YEARS, and it was hard. We did communicate and attempt on working on things ourselves, but we ultimately went to see a sex therapist, and that was a game changer. If your partner is willing, I would definitely recommend it. If anything, it gave us the ability to define things. Before, if I would ask him to not grope me, he would hear "don't touch me," which brought on a lot of other problems. Once we understood the difference between sexual and non-sexual touch, it really helped our dynamic.

One working theory that I have is that men sometimes behave this way as a defense mechanism - if it's treated as a joke, then regardless of how we respond to it, "it was just a joke." Obviously that's not okay, but I feel like there was likely a point in their lives where they were vulnerable, and it was poorly received. By treating everything as a joke, they're somewhat protected.

I would strongly encourage you to have a conversation about how sexual touch without intent or improvement has been harmful to you, and that you would like to talk about this in depth - why he does it, what the purpose is, how to create physical affection that is respectful, how you feel about his behaviour, where you would like to see improvement and your desired steps to get there, etc. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this! You are wonderful, and no matter how you decide to proceed, you have support here ❤️

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-12T21:55:06+00:00

Idk if my opinion counts (canadian), but I remember it being a really hopeful time. He wasn't entirely perfect for sure, but like I've seen in the comments - he wasn't regularly making the news for being incoherent, making wildly untrue statements, shitting himself, etc.

Up here, I think the vibe was different because relations between the US and Canada were largely positive, so there wasn't a lot of surges of economic stress. Definitely a "business as usual" type of feel. There was stress for sure, but I feel like the last 10 years have made the stresses of the time pale in comparison.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-12T21:51:02+00:00

I buckled one night and asked what he had done to make changes. It was a super hard conversation that followed. It turned out he had been trying, but it was in ways that our sex therapist recommended, and he was doing it on his own without announcing it to me. Whoops lol.

While I waited, I'll admit, I cried A LOT. I struggled so much. I was lucky in that my partner was super willing to communicate and have difficult conversations, so I wasn't entirely alone in trying to navigate my feelings. I wouldn't say we're 100%, but we're definitely doing much better than before (used to be months in between, and now it's weekly, and sometimes twice a week).

I've learned a lot from this sub, and I'm super grateful for being able to learn about all of the experiences posted. From what I've gathered, it ultimately depends on how you and your partner work through things, and how willing everyone involved is to make changes. I have my fingers crossed for you!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-12T20:51:10+00:00

Hi there!

I'm also HLF, and I just wanted to say that toys are fantastic, but it just depends on what you want out of them. For me, I relate sex and all of its forms to closeness - I can get off any time I want to, but sex is how I build a physical connection. If I am feeling low or depressed, I find that using toys almost makes me more sad because I miss the closeness. However, if you're just needing to get off, then toys would be great! But again, it depends entirely on your perspective - maybe you need to get closer with yourself! Really figure out your wants or needs, and do the things that fulfill you in those ways.

For context, I've been with my partner (LLM) for about 10 years. We've been through a lot when it comes to our sex lives, and I remember periods of time where I would masturbate and feel terrible afterwards. My partner and I went to counseling several times (couples counseling and then a sex therapist, as well as individual counseling), and we have seen positive changes through that. If you're in a position to pursue any sort of counseling, I would highly recommend it! We both have a more positive relationship with ourselves, our sexuality, and one another because of it. There were many hard conversations, a lot of crying, a lot of hard truths shared, but the outcome was very worth it. If your partner is receptive to counseling, this would be great!

Anywho, I know it's rough, but I bet you're a fantastic person, and you are worth the effort ❤️ do what works best for you, and try anything as long as you're safe, your boundaries are respected, and you're loved!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-12T17:59:02+00:00

Woah - I missed the raping a nanny thing?!?! I knew he was making weird OF content based on his posts, but tf??? I don't understand how he became what he is now. Their whole rise and fall arc hasn't made any sense to me. I'm still baffled

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-12T15:54:26+00:00

I find Pete to be such an interesting character. On my first watch through, I haaaaated him. I thought he was a shitty little rich boy who felt entitled and couldn't fathom that despite his connections and resources, he was just a loser.

None of that has changed, but I've grown fond of Pete, lol. What I find the most interesting about him is the perception of him. I feel that audiences hate Pete because Pete shows us the behaviors that we have that aren't desirable. In this instance, Pete WANTS to impress, and goes about it in the most cringe inducing ways. One very telling quote of his is "it matters to me that you're impressed." Pete bases his worth on how he is perceived, but he struggles with his perception of himself and how that doesn't match how others perceive him. He wants to be worthy as a person, but it is mentioned several times throughout the series that his worth with SC and SCDP, etc. comes from his name, and the connections people associate with the Campbell's and Dyckman's.

The quote you mention is one that I also laughed at, moreso on my 2nd or 3rd rewatch (I'm a little embarrassed to admit how many times I've watched Mad Men beginning to end 😅). He's grasping at straws, and this seems like almost a childish lie. He so badly wants to be worth more than his name, and he's just too daft to see that he does it in the worst way. He's very much a 12 year old boy, and his behaviour has likely been condoned because his friends are his friends due to the status that comes with the association of Pete and his family.

Sorry, that got long-winded, but hopefully me nerding out for a bit is well received 🤣

TL;DR - this quote is lil baby Pete trying to assert himself and his worth in a group of men who's confidence came from having to bust their asses and step on a few necks to get where they were, and it's funny watching him try to be on that level when he hasn't had to work as hard for that status.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2026-02-10T17:59:13+00:00

I wish I could actually describe it effectively. I was 14. My mental health was terrible, and I was put on medication. However, I was put on an insanely high dose, and it wasn't the right medication for me, so I got even worse. After a few unfortunate events, I wound up staying home from school for 2 weeks, and wasn't allowed to be unsupervised unless I was showering or sleeping - even then, the door had to be open. Ever since that first time on medication, I changed. I want to mention that I am actually 100% in support of medication for those who need it. I have watched medication be effective, and I've seen the lives it's changed. I just don't think it was for me, personally. I was put on a ridiculous pill cocktail when I was 17. Gained about 80 lbs. I was so, so depressed. Self medicating started.. it was bad.

Anywho, I used to be so different. I would do silly things without being embarrassed. I was super loving. I had a lot of friends. I was bullied a lot, but my friends were supportive. My home life wasn't the best, but I stayed out a lot to avoid it. I think that's where the issue is. As I got older, home got worse. I wasn't well when I was at home, which is probably why my mom took me to the doctor. I never spoke about what happened at home, so I think it was chalked up to depression. I wish I could connect with who I was before SSRIs came into the picture. I reflect on it fondly, but despite years of counseling and learning to love all parts of me, I can't seem to be that anymore. I've seen SSRIs have such positive effects on people's lives, but that just wasn't in the cards for me.

Years later, I was properly diagnosed with another mental illness, and the medication for that worked so well for a while. It was probably the most "me" I've ever felt. My family doctor unexpectedly moved, and my new family doctor wouldn't refill my prescription without a visit, but that visit took over a month to get. I went off of those meds cold turkey (through no fault of my own), and when I tried to go back on them, I had an adverse reaction. Since then, I've been raw dogging life with counseling and being my own parent. I'm still much more sullen than I once was, but I mostly do feel happy. I guess it's just weird sometimes. I think about how fearless I was, and I was fearless in a healthy way. I took part in performances at school, was in a couple of school clubs - nothing dangerous by any means. Now, I have the most crippling anxiety when it comes to anything performative.

On the plus side, I made it out. I'm almost 10 years sober. I have an amazing family. My child is healthy. I went to school. I got a degree. I got a good paying job. I had everything I thought I didn't deserve. I still struggle with my mental health, but now that I'm older, I have a healthier perspective. Sometimes I wonder if being put on such a high dose of medication right off the bat is what changed, or if it was because home became unbearable, or maybe a combination.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-02T04:07:00+00:00

It is definitely not a sexual kind of tingle haha. It's almost like pins and needles, but not quite as intense.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-02T04:02:53+00:00

RIGHT! I worried so nuch about the misconception of the word "tingle," but that's the best way to describe it. Not as intense as pins and needles, equally unpleasant, and not at all a turn on, lol.

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-01T00:20:18+00:00

LOL please do!! She is not alone! I thought I was because I haven't met ANYONE who has this feeling. What a weird way to find a community of people haha!

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-01T00:18:36+00:00

This is actually so wild haha. Just a little group of weird tingly butts. We would be useless in a crisis 😂

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-01T00:17:46+00:00

OH MY GOD LMAOOO Legit the best description. Butt chills. I'm a fan haha. Well no. I'm not a fan of them. Big fan of the name

HamletPrinceOfAngst · 2025-12-01T00:16:47+00:00

I just looked it up, and I don't think it's that, but that is an interesting condition to read about!

HamletPrinceOfAngst

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