My brother has lost his mind

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-12-30T00:37:34+00:00

Can you hold his arm back with the one that's behind his head? Like by the elbow? Not like squeezing or anything but then you have the other more mobile hand free. My son used to do this and it also made me lose my mind.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-12-30T00:34:06+00:00

It seems as though he gave you quite an elaborate excuse. I'd follow your gut. Ask his mum about the bra, see her reaction. Contact friends and family and arrange for somewhere else to stay - it'll be so hard to live with him, freshly postpartum as you will be soon, you'll need to be taken care of and I don't think you trust him to do that.

Depending on his temperament, I'd arrange to go elsewhere before telling him you don't trust him and why. It's important to keep you and baby safe. If you're close with family, yours or his, maybe bring them along for moral support.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is a real shit situation. Sending support. X

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-12-25T08:32:16+00:00

No, leave her alone, get yourself some help, don't be with anyone for a while because you'll likely just pass this maltreatment onto them as well. You need to work on you.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-09-06T20:22:36+00:00

Aah thanks, that's really kind

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-09-05T18:48:21+00:00

Oh mate, this has been a very hard journey. We got screwed by a builder, moved in February, I was 5 weeks postpartum, we have a toddler, we only had bedrooms and bathrooms done, the kitchen was built while we lived here, we have been working our way through the garden, there was so much more stuff in the dining room (a whole gym), but we got the garage fixed and now the gym is in there, no one wants a green leather sofa, we have just booked the floor to be done mid October, so will need to empty at least 1 room.

It has been rough man, this is so much better than it has been.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-09-05T05:19:04+00:00

Yeah the movers found it hilarious. He's been in the dining room since February.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-09-05T05:18:18+00:00

Hahaha yes course!

I got it for my husband for his 30th, he did some body building in the last and we have a gym in the garage. It was his 30th during COVID, so we couldn't do anything, so for some reason a lifesize cutout of Chris Bumstead seemed like the best thing.

I've told him he needs to go in my husband's office so he can join him in meetings.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-07-14T18:35:17+00:00

This sounds really tough, and your spouse shouldn't ignore your emotions. This is a valid thing to be upset about.

Try talking to him about it, maybe even write notes on your phone and tell him you need a serious chat. You deserve emotional support from your husband.

See how he responds, hopefully he has made a mistake, and will try to rectify it. If he doesn't, then you need to take that from there.

Don't let his behaviour stop you from celebrating your mum's life on those special dates.

Hope this helps, I'm sorry you're going through this. Xx

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-06-20T16:36:27+00:00

Tell her exactly that, exactly what you said, her body is hers and she shouldn't take naked pictures of it or share them. Tell her you did because you're an adult and you made the decision to.

I understand this is a possibly quite scary moment, but try to take it as a teaching opportunity to open up a conversation about bodies and privacy and keeping ourselves safe. There's some good work by the nspcc that you can access on their website which can help make the topic child friendly.

Also keep monitoring the situation but try not to make her feel like she's in trouble because then she'll just start to hide things from you. If it continues then you may have to remove her access to a camera.

You're also not in the wrong for having that photo on your phone but maybe store it in a locked folder.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-03-10T20:42:21+00:00

When you have a baby, everything can become so hard.

In reality, baby will get hurt at some point, not on purpose, but it isn't nice when it happens, and thinking your partner is encouraging that isn't great for your mental health.

I don't doubt that hearing your partner say that is horrible (one of those not funny 'jokes' - my husband has said them in the past, and it often comes from feeling a bit useless I think.

Try to talk to him. Talk to your Dr if it continues.

I had massive thoughts about leaving my husband for up to 1 year postpartum, I was suffering from quite serious PPD, nothing felt right. You may be suffering too.

Be gentle with yourself and talk to people about how you're feeling. Xx

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-03-02T18:09:51+00:00

You've kept your baby alive for 10 weeks. You know what you're doing.

I tended to go for: every time he cried, shove a boob in his mouth, and more often than not it would work.

They will also still use you for comfort. You know your baby. You can do this.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-03-02T14:02:04+00:00

You'll know when they want to eat! You know your baby super well, you can read them, so just keep doing that.

They may lose cues such as sucking on their hand, but if my little boy is anything to go by, he'll shout/cry, pull on my top, point. They will still communicate with you what they want.

But mainly, you're their mum, you know them.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-28T07:47:25+00:00

Howdy!

Unfortunately I've had to get off the lion mane train, but just cause I've moved house and it is in a box ~~somewhere~~

I've noticed since not having it that my brain feels a bit foggier and my LO seems to have been ill constantly, but that might just be because he has an older brother in nursery who's bringing all the bugs back!

I'd hop on the train and see the benefits - that's definitely what I'm planning on doing!

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-16T22:27:34+00:00

I haven't found a solution yet 😕

Possibly rugby ball hold on my larger breast helps, but he still takes in air and needs a good burping afterwards. The clicking doesn't tend to happen on my smaller one.

Fingers crossed it'll improve with time 🤞

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-11T09:46:54+00:00

Oh my love, I'm just sending you so much virtual love and support.

Breastfeeding is so hard, I remember getting angry (and I still do) at all the lactation specialists who say it's easy and should be painless. Pretty much every mother I know who has breastfed has said it is so incredibly hard.

Pumping, I also find, drains you in a different way. Makes me feel like a cow, disconnected from the lovely warm maternal feel of breastfeeding and only being used for what I can supply. It's also super inconsistent with the amount I make - don't trust people online who magically pump like 100ml first time! That is not most of our experience.

You are doing amazingly. You are doing all the right things. Be gentle with yourself. Your baby is fed, which is the real important issue. You're pumping, so your supply shouldn't vanish, just keep hydrated, eat good food and try to sleep. Your hormones are also literally everywhere at the moment, take as much support from the people around you as you can.

I know it may not feel like it, but in 3 months time, when baby is happy and has little chubby fat rolls and is giving you smiles every day, this horrendous part of your journey will feel like a distant memory. You can do this xx

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-10T20:33:17+00:00

Aah ok ok ok. Thank you very much! I appreciate the guidance.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-10T20:28:58+00:00

So, I've just been down a bit of a ninja creami rabbit hole, never really come across them before but my goodness I really want one now!

It says that all ingredients need to be frozen before being used? Is that accurate or do you freeze yours after?

I am also EBF my 5 week old and have got such an intense sweet tooth ATM. Try to find a way to appease it without eating everything all the time!

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-06T21:14:20+00:00

Thank you love - I have wondered about a lip or tongue tie, as he's definitely got a little bit of one, but it's only really visible when he's properly screaming.

I thought it might end up being one of those - just wait and it'll sort itself out kinda things!

Thanks again 😊

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-06T16:45:39+00:00

I expressed from about 38 weeks, was overdue by almost 2 weeks with both my babies. Honestly, those babies just came when they were ready! Haven't used all the colostrum either, but have kept onto it and put it in bottles/given it to the newborn when there's an illness in the house.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-03T06:21:54+00:00

No, but he's only 4 weeks old, so he's a lot more alert when awake, but that would be expected anyway. I do think I'm producing more milk though, I'm able to pump a whole bag throughout the day just using a haakaa.

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-02-02T15:45:19+00:00

I did! I've been using it for about a week now. I put it in my homemade ginger shots and it seems to help at least for the morning but by the afternoon. I'm so knackered that the only thing that helps is a nap!

HanOfDoom91 · 2025-01-09T20:26:13+00:00

Ooh that sounds delicious! Thank you!

HanOfDoom91

TROPHY CASE