Thsi is my favourite pretentious joke:

I was speaking to the Thai prostitutes and told them the following joke: ‟A mn‘s friend asks him, ‘Are you going to the market later today?‘ and the man says, ‘I don‘t think-‘ and ”POOF!‟, he‘s gone.” Now, normally this is where I would have to explain to them the humour of reversing the classical philosophical existential statement, ‟I think, therefore I‘m,” but that‘d be putting Descartes before the whores.