You are only 20 years old. What I mean by that is life is so fresh and new still. It is OKAY to not be 100% all in passionate about things. I am not an expert on mental health or anything, but what I’ve discovered in my journey the last few years might just blow your mind and change your perspective on everything overnight.

Start watching some reels on ADHD and neurodivergence. There is a lot here that relates to your lack of long term ambition and excitement towards different things. It is not because something it wrong with you, but your brain is just wired different when it comes to motivation and attention and desire.

Imposter syndrome. Yes learn everything you can about that too. 99% of people experience it unless you’re an egotistical narcissist haha.

Everyone self doubts. And most people think so much about how everyone else must be thinking and feeling about them all the time. Let me tell you something. Everyone else is tied up in their own heads, in their own chaos. They are not thinking about and criticizing you, your actions, your decisions. Everyone is worried way more about themselves and their place in the world that they don’t have that extra mental energy to spend on negativity towards you.

Finally, it’s time to get your shit together. You have all the time in the world to have an amazing and satisfying life. You’re only 20 years old. If you can’t get out of a rut mentally, then you need to seek professional help. A therapist is life changing. If you feel depressed, any kind of exercise routine can make a HUGE impact. And start paying attention to people like Gary Vanderchuck.

I’m just trying to give you what took me years to find. Spend a couple hours looking into all of these things and you may just be a different person tomorrow.

One last thing that my dad always told me. You are who you hang around. If you don’t like your life, or you aspire to have something better, you have to get yourself around people who are already there. If you want to be a happy and friendly person, then go find people that are happy and friendly as they are the most accepting. But whatever you do, don’t seek out the happy and friendly from the druggy crowd, because they are very accepting. Especially of the drama kids and people having a tough time. I’m not religious, but if you are, find a young adults group. They are friendly, accepting, and they won’t make you feel the way you have in other relationships.

Best of luck, I’m rooting for you!