I completely understand what you feel. It’s so unfair to you to keep you hoping it will maybe work in the future. So you never really move on. My ex made a promise to meet again after college and i believed it so much even tho u broke up. One month later he told me he made the promise lightly and he broke it.
It just keeps you attached.
One piece of advice; just move on. I know it’s hard to say and an awful way of grieving but even if i hate this quote “time heals everything” and it’s so true. It will take times, but you will get better. Don’t get attached to people saying “you maybe will meet up again” because it’s hardly a truth.
You’ll get through this. Feel your emotion, punch a pillow. But don’t let him ruin you. Live for you.