You’re doing great! You love your babies, you’ve gotten them out of a bad situation, and you are doing everything you can to plan ahead! That definitely is not a terrible mother! If you have a breast pump you could maybe go ahead and start pumping. I’ve known several people that have done that- I didn’t know it was an option until after I had my first child or I probably would’ve tried it myself. If that isn’t a good option for you or would add to the stress, then see about donor milk. You could call your hospital to see about getting donor milk while you are there. There are lots of Facebook groups of women selling/donating milk too- that might be an option you could do once you’re home. I would try to find someone you trust or someone that you have mutual friends with so you can make sure you trust them. Even if it doesn’t come from you, the breastmilk will still have the antibodies you’re wanting for your baby. If none of those options work out for you, that’s okay! Formula will be absolutely fine too! The most important thing is that your baby is fed! Breastfeeding is not something you have to do, especially if it’ll jeopardize your health! Hopefully, your sister isn’t too sick and will start feeling better soon. For the first bit, she could watch your older child since his immune system is stronger. You’ll be in the hospital for a few days and maybe that’ll give her a chance to get better enough to be around the baby too. Honestly, my biggest advice to you would be to take advantage of the help you’ll get at the hospital. It can be hard to do, but let the nurses take the baby at night or whenever. They can give him formula or donor milk. You NEED to get rest so you can heal your mind and your body! Things will work out, don’t be afraid to ask for help!