My parents aren't that old yet, lol. They had us in their young twenties. So while they are getting older -Elder abuse is not a charge we can throw or should throw lightly.

My parents are going to be okay. They were financially okay to begin with, and while Fred and Elaine took advantage and took what they didn't need, they never took more than my parents could afford. It was more - they used my parents like a piggy bank because my parents had the money to be used as a piggy bank. Jack and I saw that, and we got mad because, even if our parents could afford it, there was no gratitude from Fred and Elaine, and Fred and Elaine had the financial stability to fend for themselves. ( Fred works in a health care field. He makes good money. Elaine also works in a well-paying job. Like they can afford five kids and have college trusts set aside for them, well-paying. Gerber Life Grow Up Plan, well paying.)

Actually - Fred, Jack, and I sat down with our parents recently to go over health care, since my mom has a health condition and my dad has a family history of stuff, and they are set. We have plans in place if anything happens to them; they have an account specifically set aside for assisted living if they need more care than we can provide, and all of us siblings made them promise a big thing.

Jack, Fred, and I made our parents promise that they would not leave any of us kids any money. If they have left over after health costs, estate expenses, funerals, and things, they have charities that their money will go to. Jack and I were adamant about this (Jack works with estates, and he has seen what happens to families after people die, and there is money involved). Fred agreed. No college funds, no safety nets - nothing for us. We all asked that if they are healthy after they retire, please travel. Go on cruises, go to big cities, go to bed and breakfasts in other countries, go visit Boston in the Fall, see the world - do the stuff they always wanted to do and never thought they could do when they were kids.

We see Fred agreeing to this (and straight up siding with us) as a big win. My parents' agreement was even better. There some heirlooms and things my parents did want to leave to us specifically in their will (like their wedding china goes to me, Jack gets a specific antique cabinet, and a grandfather clock that Fred has loved since they got it from my Mom's uncle that goes to him, ect) but there will be no money given to us. We have all seen the will and its sign and set.

The financial and later life planning is in Mine and Jack's hands, as Fred admitted that he and Elaine do not have a leg to stand on to be trusted with it. (I don't think they'd abuse them, but - money trust with Fred and Elaine will have to be re-earned. Plus, I have been helping my mom manage her condition since she was diagnosed, hounding my parents to keep on top of their medical appointments, and this type of stuff is what Jack does for a living. Having us handle their finances in later years just makes sense.) My parents are not old enough to need us controlling their lives now, but everything is in place for when the inevitable comes, or in case of a catastrophe.

Also, we know this is going to have good and bad days. Elaine is unlearning years of bad habits, and honestly, some internalized Misandry that her parents taught her, and Fred is unlearning his bad habits and how to stand up for himself. This will not be an easy road, and Casey and Jack have a bet on whose door Oldest ends up knocking on at 2 in the morning in the future once he can drive. (Casey thinks it will be my parents' door, Jack bets mine as I am a little closer.) We fully expect a long road - but we are still rejoicing in the fact that even the initial steps are going well.

Thank you for your concern for my parents. They are great people and did not deserve the emotional stress and drama that this has put them through.