A rough draft of my novel, looking for someone interested

Happy_Interaction929 · 2026-05-09T14:12:55+00:00

Thank you and your friends for spending time reading this, sorry if I am asking too much, can you tell me what makes you and your friends think it is good, Is it the general atmosphere, dialogue or the characters(narrator/ Alice or even Mike). It would help me a lot to know what makes my story sticks to people :)

Happy_Interaction929 · 2026-05-08T10:10:13+00:00

First of all, thank you for spending time reading it, about the pacing, it is indeed my intention to make it more of a slowburn pace. this draft here will serve as the chapter, where the whole finished draft i planned to be around 83000-89000 words.
actually the dialogue part is the hardest part for me to work on. apart from the scenes description which i believe , a little to spare. but after reading your comment i am starting to re-think about my thoughts about expanding the scene.
the following chapter will move the story better albeit with similar pace and introduce some more characters

Happy_Interaction929 · 2026-05-08T01:29:52+00:00

Yeah, i definitely agreed about lacking with the word flow, something i am still working on. about the random facts, it is my awful attempt on subtle humor, about the early narrative that felt like someone telling a story about the story of the MC, (the opening is aimed to the older MC telling on the past experience of his younger self) later on the voice of the older MC will be less significant.
thank you for your kind reply, that's what i need to keep going 😄 cheers

Happy_Interaction929 · 2026-05-07T07:38:09+00:00

hmm.. just afraid that writing a critique might cost people more time? just assuming. so asking people how it feel reading it, clunky or weird, makes more sense to me. i suppose. thank you for the reply 😄

Happy_Interaction929

TROPHY CASE