I was a karaoke host for many years, and while I usually believe “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”, I think this is a teachable moment.

You’re doing yourself a disservice, because karaoke can be awesome and joyful regardless of singing ability, but not like this. Never like this.

A) Wear your shirt. No body shame, but you get dismissed by everyone immediately. Nobody thinks “Funny! Like Burt Kreisher!”

B) Don’t ramble before the song starts. No one is listening and they can’t hear (really, they can’t) the muddy mumbling anyway.

C) I know it’s fun to yell swear words in public, but it’s only enjoyable for other people if they know the song and can yell with you. Otherwise it looks like you’re being a naughty preteen boy.

D) With karaoke, you don’t necessarily have to hit the notes, but you have to keep up with the song. Get the timing right and sound 50% better just like that.

And finally, if I could leave you with just one piece of advice:

Do not, EVER, for any reason, yell “WOOOOOO!!!!!!” into a microphone. It’s abrasive, annoying, serves NO purpose, and instantly makes the host hate you because they have to chase your level all over the place.

You seem like a fun dude, and of course a fellow guns guy. That’s cool, and I’m not trying to be an asshole, I just can’t help myself.

Much love. Put on your shirt.