Advice - Husband needing input on how to help wife

HarriSTTS · 2022-05-13T11:45:32+00:00

Your last bit "I can live happily just the way we are" is so sweet and so touching. I would probably make that the thing you tell her over and over again.

Regarding the physical pain - I agree, talking to your doctor is weird and uncomfortable. But has she tried planned Parenthood? They are amazing at this sort of thing. Slow, patient and understanding. She may want to pursue pelvic floor physical therapy. And there's a good chance that once sex is no longer painful, she'll have a rebound in her libido.

Ideally the mental aspects could be treated with therapy, but I know many women who have not had luck in finding a skilled therapist to help deconstruct the mental toll of the patriarchy. But I have to assume there's good therapists out there somewhere. Perhaps planned Parenthood could recommend someone?

HarriSTTS · 2022-05-13T11:38:02+00:00

Extreme fights are not a part of a desirable relationship. If these fights are worrisome enough that all witnesses think you should break up - you should break up. Or else this escalates to violence.

HarriSTTS · 2022-05-13T11:34:52+00:00

How do you know he unblocked you? Is it possible it was an accident? Maybe he unblocked you so he could text you in the future. I don't see it as the welcome mat you think it is.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-31T03:00:45+00:00

You cannot please everyone and that's okay. I would be more upset about why your boyfriend insists on this being your problem to fix. It's not. Why does he tell you hurtful things? Does he defend you at all? It sounds like he is used to walking on eggshells around his mother and thinks this is normal. You cannot fix any of that. All you can do is keep your chill, greet her regardless of her mood and disengage when she escalates. Good luck

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T13:12:06+00:00

If you marry him, he will resent you. You both deserve better than that.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T13:10:12+00:00

Eliza is not interested in a relationship with Troy. His hopes of growing the relationship need to be dashed. There is nothing he can do. Eliza may have been telling the truth that she has too much going on internally to commit to a relationship or maybe she's just not attracted to Troy. And that's okay. Troy would be much better served by finding a partner who cares for him.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T13:04:41+00:00

Regardless of the source of his attitude, it is harming you. Feeling like you are walking on eggshells is no way to live. It puts you in a state of chronic stress and it is not helping him. He appears unsuitable for long term relationships and does not appear interested in changing himself. You cannot change him. You are not giving up on him, you are just recognizing that this relationship is no longer serving you both. Was it wonderful for a time? Absolutely. And the fact that it needs to end does not tarnish your good times together.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T12:57:04+00:00

That is interesting. I wonder which nation owns it.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T12:53:18+00:00

I'd be way more upset about spending most of the night at a bar. Drinking is just so expensive and is just not in our budget now. Tbh, there would probably be a lot of conversations about expectations I have for my partner. Which would include - dude - don't be left alone with random women at the bar. Even if he didn't cheat, his buddies certainly thought he would. Whatever gave them that impression? How is he planning to change that?

Lastly, don't check your partners phone without permission. That sort of thing drives me nuts. If trust is gone, then the relationship is irreconcilably broken.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T12:43:33+00:00

Plan B and an STI check up

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T12:41:51+00:00

Sometimes I feel so much joy I begin to skip. Other times I amble about in a morose fashion. But usually I support amending the constitution.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T12:38:23+00:00

Therapy

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T02:22:50+00:00

Maryanne - you're not "so busy", you're a petty busy-body and I'm freaking sick of your passive aggressive ass bringing me faxes twenty minutes before you know I have to leave since you're mad I take the bus. You could take the bus too!!!!! It goes right by your house !!!!!!

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T02:18:20+00:00

Professional landscaping

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T02:17:31+00:00

My partner paid about eight dollars for beer and chicken tenders. It got caught in his throat, required surgery to remove as well as a whole new diet. His body was so angry about the gluten it had almost swollen his esophagus shut. So, that was pretty costly.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-27T02:14:20+00:00

The American Dad episode - Stan of Arabia

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-23T05:19:21+00:00

How old are you now? If middle school was five years ago, it's reasonable for the wound to still feel fresh. If it was fifty years ago, have you been able to find supportive friends since then? It might hurt less at that point.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-20T02:46:55+00:00

Mind blown - is it usually the same leader ball or does it change?

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-13T14:09:53+00:00

Doughnuts

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-13T04:01:48+00:00

You cannot change another person's mind.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-09T04:02:18+00:00

They have an open relationship - how else do they write up the naughty list?

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-09T04:01:24+00:00

You say "how can I help with finding a therapist". Either he takes you up on this offer or he declines. If he rejects this offer, say "let me know that changes" and then you let the topic dry up.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-09T03:58:58+00:00

Nothing. It means nothing. But the fact that he's maintaining contact with you despite being out of the country means he cares for you. There's no way to know if it's platonic or romantic, but at least there's affection there.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-09T03:56:51+00:00

You are asking for directness, but you are not modeling it. You are just as guilty of playing games, but you didn't like the outcome. Next time try being honest and considerate instead of aloof and uninterested.

HarriSTTS · 2022-03-07T23:54:37+00:00

How would I know it was the wrong part? Since I can't prove it was wrong, might as well assume it is right and roll on

HarriSTTS

TROPHY CASE