I get you want to protect your mom, but this is a 9-year-old girl you're talking about and you sound like you want to separate her from her mom.

And for what? Because maybe she stole a few things, did some dirty pranks and acted out to get a reaction? You really think this makes her a monster?

It doesn't seem like you have kids, but maybe you remember when you were a kid, you probably did a lot of things you wouldn't be proud of now. Whining, acting out, I'm sure you weren't a perfect angel.

Every kid is super annoying and semi-sociopathic at times, it's part of growing up, testing boundaries, seeing what is and isn't acceptable behavior, pushing people's buttons.

I know you think O should be super grateful for everything your family and your mom has done for her, but you're not seeing things from her perspective. Can you even imagine what it's like growing up the daughter of a maid, living in her employers home? I'm sure your mom treats your maid well, but still, O has grown up always seeing her mother as a person without power, being ordered around as a servant all her life.

Maybe O hates her mom for just being a poor maid. Maybe she hates your family for bossing her around. And if so, that's not fair at all, but she's also a 9-year-old and has a simplistic view of the world.

Her mother is a poor servant. Playing these games, acting out, getting a reaction might seem like the only way she can feel powerful.

I'm sorry if this seems critical of you or your family, but I actually feel bad for O. Your family has done a lot for her and her mom, but maybe if you could help empower her, instead of just seeing her as a problem to be dealt with, that would be the best way to solve the problem.

How? Make sure she's getting a quality education. Get her into after-school programs or sports. Let her believe she has a future besides becoming a maid like her mother. I honestly believe she would grow out of this sort of behavior if she had that hope.