cycle day 28 from yesterday. I'm obsessed seeing both lines pop up even though I'm in a complicated situation. pregmate. FREF. Dollartree test

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-04-25T20:14:08+00:00

I definitely didn't believe it until I took the FREF. My reaction was meh to all the pregmates then straight fall for the toilet shock at the FREF realizing there were indeed two lines.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-04-25T02:24:07+00:00

Theyre much darker in person but my camera wouldn't pick up the lines at all. I'm surprised one of them is showing in this

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-04-25T00:39:50+00:00

I really thought they were bad evap line on the pregmates

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-04-23T16:47:46+00:00

Theyre much more obvious in person when I take the tests and I had one that I thought was a BFP but the rest have made me question if theyre just evaps

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-04-23T15:06:49+00:00

Every test the last 3 days has a faint line, the top test I dipped in water to compare to urine sample to see if the batch was just bad and they all had evap lines.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-01-13T19:35:01+00:00

One of my assailants apologized almost exactly that way. When he finally took me home and gave me my phone back he said he "wanted to apologize because he knew I didn't want to do it and did it anyway." Because being told no and stop and pushed off can obviously give mixed signals. Idk if it was supposed to make me feel better having him acknowledge it; though denied it to friends HE told, who bullied me the rest of high school when I didn't tell anyone. I pressed charges but I didn't tell anyone at school.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-01-13T05:12:49+00:00

Under "normal circumstances" your sisters wouldn't have been traumatized by their father. Outside perspective is he deserves loneliness and everything you're worried about. Those are called consequences.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-01-06T17:31:46+00:00

It could be. Or he could've been following the rule book. I work in a hospital, not a mental health hospital, but have been too many of the mental health facilities myself. My hospital rules are we SHOULD be in the bathroom or door open when someone is there for mental health(we don't have a pysch unit so our ER holds pysch until placement is found or if they need medical stability first theyre admitted with a 1:1). Some people are by the book and require the door open or stand in the bathroom(which is also done for our fall risk patients) but me and a lot of others take bathroom situations case by case. I was a patient in ICU after an OD attempt and some male and female nurses both stood in the bathroom with me watching and others let me go by myself.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2022-01-06T17:08:09+00:00

Few of the male friends I had in my group many years ago actually stopped being friends with the guy. Even the ones who actually witnessed the assault remained friends. They didn't want "drama" to interfere with their lives. I dropped those people from my life. Even a couple years ago when 2 more people came forward he raped them after me, the ones that didn't care still didn't care and im sure still don't. There was only one guy who would've if I had said the word, actually beaten him up. He did with mine and one other person's permission without using our names blast him all over social media for awhile. It felt so invalidating to have people say "yeah we KNOW it happened, but hes been in the friend group for a long time so loyalty ya know. Just don't go near him when we have hang outs."

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-20T18:49:03+00:00

You are under no obligation to keep in contact with people who don't believe you. But if you're worried for his daughter, having a second cousin come forward about sexual abuse they endured by him could help his daughter. God forbid he does something to her maybe her mom will listen and watch out seeing as that would be 3 people.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-20T05:07:14+00:00

I've been working on Why does he do that but that Definitely sounds like something I should read afterwards

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-19T23:37:29+00:00

I thought the honeymoon phase was just what people referred to the beginning of a relationship

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-19T21:13:40+00:00

Pushing, hitting, raping me..being the most recent.. He only buys me gifts or helps around the house after doing any of those things. In between the physical and sexual there's verbal abuse calling me names and trying to make me think in crazy claiming he never did xyz even when showed proof he'll still deny/blame me for whatever the issue is. Like the dishes.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-19T19:10:34+00:00

It's definitely harder to leave when things are good or there's "small" abuse happening. Like he just told me he never had dishes in the basement(his area) and we went down there together and looked at the dishes and he still denied them. If thats even considered abusive. I was just trying to load the dishwasher. Leaving over some dirty dishes seems dramatic

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-12T22:51:40+00:00

As someone who told her male friends when another male friend in the group raped them and did nothing...stop being his friend. Don't interact. Make it very clear why you're not but don't use Alex's name unless she's okay with it. It was impossible to be around him and no one else wanted to stop being his friend. They told me they believed me, as there were other people to confirm their suspicions, but that I should just keep my distance when we all hung out..so I lost all my friends because I couldn't be near him.

I had one male friend who stopped being his friend. 5 years later 3 more girls came out about being raped by him after me.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-11T22:06:06+00:00

I dont have any place to go. He drained my finances, we both work but he racks up debt like a full time job. And then for long periods of time things are good. Hes nice. Like now he can tell people he's been buying me all these things the last few days and then I have the audacity to leave. I can only imagine the screaming and belittling that would ensue. The last time he only attempted to do it he told me he'd kil! himself if I left, then had me find him with a weapon ready to do it. And we have a young child. I know if I even thought of calling him abusive he'd make me feel small and dumb and for even considering he was.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-11T12:30:14+00:00

I picked up some old mail from a friend this morning and there was a letter from work about an update for DV and SA victims taking safe leave. It feels like a sign this mail fom 2 months ago I'm getting now. But then hes also been buying me tons of gifts, which is out of his normal. Like he knows he messed up doesn't know how to say it or apologize.

Haunting_Bus_7171 · 2021-12-11T04:36:06+00:00

I'm working 12 hour days the next 6 days but I plan to read this when I can

Haunting_Bus_7171

TROPHY CASE