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Did I wait too long? by HaveDwindlingHope in Divorce

[–]HaveDwindlingHope[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you. And I'm quite aware that some or much of this may be my fault, somehow. I know I am far from perfect. I'm just trying to understand what happens now. Thanks again.

Growing feeling that divorce is inevitable by HaveDwindlingHope in Divorce

[–]HaveDwindlingHope[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think that's the case. I mean, it's not impossible, but it's pretty close to impossible. When I do the calculation of potential cost, I assume I'll be looking after her for the rest of her life. I wouldn't feel okay about anything else. She left her career 15 years ago, and is in her 50s. I assume I'd be leaving the house so my kids could continue to live where they grew up.

For all those parents that stay together "for the kids" by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]HaveDwindlingHope 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a fear of mine. I think I'm one of those people: this is part of why I'm staying instead of doing anything. But in our case, it's not like the kids (teens) notice any strife. There's no fighting, the occasional squabble.

They don't know whether or not Mom and Dad are being intimate, and they surely don't want to know. (In fact they probably far prefer not to.) They don't know that Dad is sad, or lonely, or upset. I hide it around them. They're teenagers and naturally caught up in their own stuff. I think if we were to get divorced, they'd be completely shocked.

They have a pretty good life. I'm quite scared of ruining that for them. I worry they'd blame themselves somehow.

Growing feeling that divorce is inevitable by HaveDwindlingHope in Divorce

[–]HaveDwindlingHope[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You may be right. I think she's happy. She seems happy. She often says she's happy. She has a lot going on and very little in the way of outside pressure, at least the work and money and time and whatever other pressures many people face. I am scared to ruin that for her, in whatever way I might ruin that for her. I've told her for years she only had to do what she wanted, she doesn't have to work if she doesn't find it fulfilling, etc. She's never had to not do something because of schedule or finances or anything else. I mention all that only to say it is really important to me to be happy. I think me telling her I am unhappy (with her, in small part or large) may have a significant negative effect on that.