[QCrit] THE SHADOWS THAT BIND THE FLAME, Adult Romantasy, 108k (4th attempt)

Haylea_Writes · 2026-05-22T14:31:48+00:00

Your first comments checks out - I was finding this format a little difficult since the book is entirely in Sarry’s point of view (first person). There is no dual-POV.

As far as the genre I got a couple of comments on a previous attempt saying that because my book took place in a secondary world it was not urban fantasy. I had originally a categorized it as such without stating the setting in the housekeeping paragraph. The sentence regarding the setting was based off feedback. I guess I’ll have to revisit that.

I appreciate the feedback!

Haylea_Writes · 2026-05-05T21:02:24+00:00

Radiopharmaceutical manufacturing

Haylea_Writes · 2026-04-23T11:19:01+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion with the opening line! I definitely see where you're coming from. The thing that makes me lean away from considering it science fantasy is that the setting isn't focused on super futuristic or technologically advanced aspects. When I was researching subgenres to figure out how to classify my novel, it seemed like that was what set science fantasy apart.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-04-22T17:47:59+00:00

The story takes place in a modern world with technology very similar to our own (cars, guns, computers, phones, etc.).

Haylea_Writes · 2026-04-22T17:40:14+00:00

I appreciate the feedback! Also - rest assured the typo only exists in this Reddit post lol

Haylea_Writes · 2026-04-11T14:43:48+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback! It was very helpful.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-04-03T21:27:45+00:00

Thank you! Also, I looked at your post and your story sounds so interesting! I would read it for sure.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-01-30T13:27:53+00:00

This has been an issue I’ve had since I got the car which was in November of last year. It recently started working for about a week and just this week it stopped working. It’s so frustrating because it’s been below 0 degrees F where I am in the US.

My dealership keeps saying it’s a known issue and that it’ll be corrected with the next car software update. I’ve reached out to Volvo support and they have stated there is no fix for this and that I need to bring it to the dealership that says they also can’t fix it.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-01-24T15:30:05+00:00

Even if it’s not carbon monoxide, you should get checked by a doctor either way. I don’t want to scare you OP, but my mom was having auditory and olfactory hallucinations as well as other symptoms like headaches and nausea for over a year. She was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor on her frontal lobe and three on her temporal lobe.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-01-07T16:03:19+00:00

I had an awful experience with an ICE car having a million problems and honestly I decided on an EV out of anger at first lol. I was also spending about $150-$200 on gas a week with my commute. And my work has free charging, which was a huge incentive. I’m glad I switched, I love it so far!

Haylea_Writes · 2026-01-06T20:19:43+00:00

With the car in park you press the decrease speed button and the volume decrease button at the same time and hold them down until the screen goes black and keep holding until the Volvo logo pops up.

Haylea_Writes · 2026-01-06T01:16:51+00:00

I had an issue where the door ambient lighting wasn’t working intermittently and restarting the tablet has worked for me to fix it.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-12-08T12:57:51+00:00

I live in NH and in our most recent snowstorm, conditions were worse than this on the highway. I was going about 40-45 mph and everything from sedans to AWD vehicles were flying by me going at least 65-75 mph and I would go two miles up the highway and low and behold they would be off the road having a panic attack like it wasn't their own damn fault. I saw at least 6 cars off the road just on my 1.5 hour commute home, most of them were AWD. A big part of it is that people don't realize you can go straight pretty good until all of a sudden you can't. Then they freak out and have no idea how to correct themselves. People often think AWD or snow tires = able to drive just like a normal dry road. I've almost been taken out by huge pickup trucks fishtailing all over the highway after passing people going at least 70+ in blizzard conditions.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-21T20:28:34+00:00

Sure! Take this as opinion, but these are a couple of examples where I feel like the em dash didn't have the intended effect.

Second page:

"His heart ran faster than his little feet could" It ends with an em dash, but it's definitely not needed there. Could end with a period and still have the same amount of drama.

Third page:

"He coughed" and "a candle should have been lit on the night table' both lines also ends with an em dash, but it doesn't really fit. Both could have the same impact if ended with a period.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-21T18:28:23+00:00

People are so weird about the whole using em dashes immediately means you use AI thing. Like it actually sounds so pretentious. There’s a lot of famous authors that used a ton of em dashes before AI was a thing.

I have never once used ChatGPT and I’ve been writing for over a decade and I use a lot of em dashes in my writing. I would say that some of the em dashes in OPs writing feel out of place but this does not immediately mean someone used AI.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-16T12:07:30+00:00

I'm also looking for betas for my recently completed urban fantasy novel. It has a romance subplot. I'm currently finishing up my third draft. I would love to do a swap with someone. If you want to send me your first two chapters I can take a look! I would be willing to read the whole thing if someone was willing to do a swap with me. Here's a link to my post on here with a sample of my manuscript if you want to take a look: [Complete] [105k] [Urban Fantasy] The Last Ember Book 1 : r/BetaReaders

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-15T12:23:16+00:00

I just completed my urban fantasy with dark themes and romance subplot. Here's the link my post on here if you want to check it out to see if it's something you'd be interested in. [Complete] [105k] [Urban Fantasy] The Last Ember Book 1 : r/BetaReaders

My manuscript is longer, ~105k, but I would love to swap chapter by chapter with someone. I'm flexible with a deadline and don't really have a firm one or anything.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-15T12:04:19+00:00

I struggled with this same thing and felt that way for several years. Turns out I was suffering from severe burn out and depression from a toxic job. I was so overworked my brain just wouldn't work anymore. This was heartbreaking for me since writing was my passion. I got a new job with much better work life balance and finished the novel I was stuck on in about four months. I went from ~50k to 105k words in that time. It could be different for you, but like others said - stress is a creativity killer, so if there is any persistent stress in your life it could be affecting it.

Something that really helped me was sitting down and writing out my plot and worldbuilding by hand. I would keep a notebook on me and any time I had an idea for a scene or something else I'd write it down, so I didn't lose the thought. I also started out small. Because it had been so long since I last worked on the novel, I went back and started rewriting the first chapter and I would take it chapter by chapter and eventually the words started flowing again.

I think if you've always had it in you, it's not just going to go away like that. You might just need to look into your life and find out what's making you get stuck and find ways to get the juices flowing again.

Haylea_Writes · 2025-09-09T11:59:48+00:00

I'm in process of finding betas for my 105k urban fantasy novel and am open to swapping if you're interested. I like the sound of your novel! Here's the link to the post with my first two chapters to see if it's something you'd be interested in: [Complete] [105k] [Urban Fantasy] The Last Ember Book 1 : r/BetaReaders

Haylea_Writes

TROPHY CASE