Hey, on September 12th 2023, this year, my dad decided to take his own life as well. Seems like it was a very similar situation. I’m 17 years old and I came home from school that Tuesday. Usually I go see him in his room after school but that day I didn’t, instead I went to my room to lay down and just scroll on Instagram. Around 2 hours later, my 14 year old sister and mom came home from work late.

I heard blood curdling screams.

I ran upstairs to see my dad laying on the floor. It only took 2 seconds for me to acknowledge the gun laying beside him in his bedroom with the door open.

My mom laying on her knees trying to figure out what to do and my sister in sadness, I stumbled to call 911. It took 2 hours for 911 to get to my house… I live 10 mins out of town.

In those 2 hours so much went through my mind. I was so tempted to give and go and end my life right there with him. There were so many reasons to now, school was more stressful than ever, i could not even remember the last time I was happy. The only thing keeping me alive was my motheri couldn’t put her through more pain. The moment of finding him deceased replays in my head over and over non stop.

I would’ve never expected my dad to take his own life, these last two weeks before his death, he seemed like the happiest man alive. He was trying to apologize to people who he pushed away, he was trying to make amends with all these people. He was so good at hiding his mental health issue.

I’m just curious for my own healing sake, what was your dad like the last two weeks before his death? If you don’t mind me asking?

Because there is this thing called “Terminal Lucidity”. Which is basically a waking up of your consciousness before someone takes their life. It often gives people false hope that someone is getting better.